Welcome to the first edition of the TBL Newsletter!!!!!!
I. Note from the Editor
Note from the Editor:
Hello everyone and welcome. This is the next step in the development of The Balrog’s Lair and Wrestling Universe. The first few issues of the newsletter maybe a little bit less than what you would expect, but as time progresses, so will our quality. While the news and rumors and columns are the same ones that you’ll find on the site, this will change shortly. There will probably bo a few errors here and there in the first few issues. (This maybe coming out like a mess right now!) So hang on tight gang, I’m going to try to get this newsletter thing down pat!
Look for a new tag team to debut on RAW. Sure sources say it will be the Pitbulls. Since the event is in Philadelphia, the crowd response would be extreme!
There was no update yesterday due to me going to a wrestling tournament, sorry guys!
Too bad news…
Ric Martel, who had a STRONG potential factor going for him prior to his injury, has been placed on the WCW hit list. He is supposed to be out for a year (as we all know) and the WCW is cutting expenses. This is a really sad story since he had a chance to recapture that lost stardom that he once had.
Vic Venom made a debut of sorts on WWF New York. He commentated! It was a good job and a change of pace.
Expect Tenta to be on screen soon.
Hey! There are rumors abound that Chyna is ENGANGED to Hunter Hearst Helmsley! How about it? I think that they are good for each other! Well, I think so…
Well, the WWF has smartened up a bit. They had originally planned to reintroduce Shawn Michaels sometime in the early fall or late summer, but they realize that they are on the verge of having their own NEW “new generation” of athletes vault themselves into the number one spot in the ratings war and that Michaels giving an interview could be imperative to their success. A source told me that he spoke with Jim Ross a few days ago and that Ross was happy that the new superstars and gimmicks in the WWF (Goldust, “Boxer” Mero, HHH, Austin) were on the verge of breaking the ratings war in half. I think that this is only good for wrestling as a whole. As now the WCW will have to show us those mega main event matches that we drool for when we want to see them. A great big “Oh Hell Yeah!” for the ratings war, right now!
Also on the rating’s war, there are heavy rumors that the WWF is looking to bring in anyone it can to boost the low spots in its broadcast. They want the next RAW to be jam packed with action and events that will ripple the wrestling world. I have heard that they are petitioning Sid to make an appearance for a one-time showing. Along with this, McMahon (who is eager to get on top of those ratings) has decided to use more of the “Hart Money” to buy the bigger names that would propel the WWF into the first spot. Names like Sid and Paul Ellering are rumored to have been offered money for their appearance in the upcoming weeks. As far as I know, don’t look for Ellering, but Sid is almost a lock. Let’s hope that everything goes well, for wrestling’s sake.
The WWF will be marketing wind-breakers with their own wrestlers and designs on them. They are a fashion magnet right now and the WWF wants a piece of that lucrative market.
The Giant has signed a one-year deal with the WCW. He is reportedly going to get a big-time push and maybe even a World Title reign. If this is true, the WCW has a hell of a year ahead of them. They have to get that belt around Nash, Flair, Savage, Hogan, Hart, and the Giant. Hey, it could happen.
There is a rumor that Jenna Jameson HAS signed with the WWF to manage Val Venis. I don’t know, Jameson is ECW material…
The ECW hit man, 911, is set to return to the ECW Arena.
Hello one and all. I recently had an idea for a new script. This is what it would be like if the WWF and WCW were two different houses, during dinner time.
(The scene begins in the WCW house. Momma Eric is beginning to serve the family some nice mashed potatoes for dinner. Momma Eric is walking around a large rectangular table. At the head of this table is an empty seat. To the left of the table seats four wrestlers. They are Hulk, Kevin, Bret, Ric. On the right side of the table sits, Dean, Chris, Eddie, and Rey. Momma Eric goes to the right side of the table. She gives Dean, Chris, Rey, and Eddie one table spoon of mashed potatoes each. They look disappointed, but not as disappointed as Eddie because Momma Eric only gives him a teaspoon. Now to the right side of the table Momma Eric gives one cup of mashed potatoes to Bret, a cup and a half to Ric, two cups to Kevin, and a whopping 25 cups to Hulk. The rest (about 15 cups she pours onto her own plate and sits down.) They begin to eat. Bret looks with disdain at his plate, then he looks at Hulk’s plate.)
Eric- Yes dear.
Bret- Where’s dad?
Eric- He’s in Atlanta on business dear. He needs to make money so we can buy you more mashed potatoes.
Bret- Well that’s just it.
Eric- What’s it, dear?
Bret- How come I don’t get barely any potatoes.
Eric- What do you mean?
Bret- Well when I was over at the McMahon’s place they gave me about 5-6 cups of mashed potatoes a day!
(Dean, Chris, Rey, and Eddie look at each other in disbelief. 5 cups of potatoes is a lot of potatoes. Definitely more than what they’re getting right now.)
Bret- And while I was over there you called and told me that if I came over to stay with you guys you’d give me 7-8 cups of potatoes a day. But since I’ve been here I only get a mere one cup a day, when am I going to get what you promised me?
Ric- Whoo! Get in line bro, mom promised all of us for awhile now and never delivered. Look at me, all I get is a cup and a half and I’m the eldest! The most handsome, and the most malnourished!
Kevin- Yeah…Mom! You promised me the same and every time I’m about to get some more potatoes you changed your mind at the last minute and give all my mashed potatoes to Hulk over there.
Hulk- Hey brother! Don’t make me come over there and whip your ass, with my 24 inch pythons!
Kevin- Yeah if you can get your head out of mom’s ass, you damn kiss up. Mom can I leave and goto the McMahon’s place to play with my friends?
Eric- Now boys stop it this instant! Now Kevin, you know that you can’t go over there, and two, don’t worry you’ll get some more potatoes, just be patient.
Chris- Stop complaining you big sissy!
Kevin- What did you call me!!!
Chris- You heard me! All you guys do over there is complain over there about potatoes! When all of us over here are freaking starving!!!
Eric- Now stop that both of you two or I’ll take away your mashed potatoes!!
Chris- That’s just it!!! What potatoes!!!
Eric- Now I know that all of you are probably wondering why some of you are not getting the potatoes that were promised, well the answer is simple there is just not enough potatoes for all of us.
Hulk- (With potatoes all over his face, shirt, and on the ground) Yeah you tell them mom!!
Dean- Then why can’t you share with us the potatoes on your plate mom!
Eric- Well that’s because I’m a special person, so is Kevin, Ric, Bret, and especially my special little guy Hulk. And as for the rest of you, you guys don’t deserve anymore potatoes.
Chris, Rey, Dean, Eddie- Why!!!
Eric- You don’t put asses in seats!!!!
Chris, Rey, Dean, Eddie- What!!!!
Eric- It’s true people come to see your brothers over here with the potatoes, while they couldn’t give a damn about your matches.
Chris, Rey, Dean, Eddie- But we do all the work!!! Their matches aren’t even 10 minutes long!!!!
Eric- Doesn’t matter!!!
Eddie- This sucks…Whatever happened to our brother Lord Steven?
Eric- Oh after he pissed on a stewardess, I disowned him and he got adopted by the McMahon’s.
Dean- Let me get this straight? All he did was piss on someone and he got to go over to the McMahon’s place where there is less people and more potatoes?
Eric- Yep. (thinks about what he saying) I mean…NO!!! No!!!
(Too late, Eddie, Dean, Rey, and Chris all run out the door with their zippers down)
Hulk- Oh shit!!! We’re in trouble now!!! Aren’t we mom? (Eric nods his head)
Later that week there was a riot at a WCW card. Fans were upset to find that the entire card lasted a combined total of 1 hour and 25 minutes. (Including intermission.) Many wrestlers had to increase their match lengths by five to ten minutes and were rushed to the hospital due to visible symptoms of exhaustion, and or heart attacks.
By: Captain Gelf
Been away all weekend for Passover. My favorite holiday of the year!! Friends, family, home-cooked meals, the whole bit. Nothing like a little matzoh and haroseth and horseradish to cheer you up. Anyway, on to wrestling matters. WCW really screwed up this week with the whole Flair fiasco. Confirm that the guy’s gonna be their before you announce he’s gonna be on!
Anyway, I wanna talk about loyalty. People are always saying how Vinnie Mac screwed Bret Hart and how it was so terrible because Bret had been so loyal to the company. Now Bret is in WCW with Saint Bischoff who never screws any of his talent. Yeah, right. Let’s explore WCW’s stance on loyalty. To start off, we have the afforementioned Ric Flair. In my opinion, and many others seem to agree with me, WCW is the house that Ric built. How does Bischoff reward him? By having him job to Hennig like 18 times and then pull him off TV when “there is no angle for him”. Right. A promotion with 100 wrestlers and supposedly the biggest talent pool in history and they can’t find an opponent for Ric Flair. The fact is, Ric Flair and Hogan don’t get along, and Hogan doesn’t want a more talented entertainer stealing his thunder. Just ask Kevin Nash about that.
Next, we have Syxx. Here is a wrestler that WCW legitimately made into a star. He was a good worker for them, and up until the end, his merchandise outsold everything, but Sting’s. And Bischoff simply fires him. Because he did something wrong? Because he was hurting the company? No. Because Eric Bischoff was on a power trip and wanted to show the Outsiders who was boss. He wasn’t willing to deal with Syxx’s injury, which reminds me of the situation with Steve Austin. Bischoff fired Austin OVER THE PHONE because of Austin’s injuries. Now, I hear rumblings that Rick Martel is on the way out. These guys injured themselves working their butts off for the company and WCW shows how much compassion they have by firing them. It’s not like the money is such a drain that Turner can’t afford it. Come on!!
Let’s compare this to the WWF’s situation. Brian Pillman was injured for a year. Shawn Michaels was injured for six months. Mark Henry was out for a year. Rocky Maivia was out for six months. HBK is even now taking more time off to convalesce. Did the WWF give up on these guys? Hell no! And let’s not forget about the whole situation with Austin after Summerslam. The fact of the matter is, the WWF treats it’s injured talent better than WCW treats theirs. I am starting to think that the only reason Arn Anderson wasn’t cut loose is because it would have been a public relations nightmare. So tell me, now? Who really rewards loyalty?
Folks, also, always remember this. At least Vince McMahon took the punch. Eric Bischoff fired Austin over the phone, he fired Syxx via fed ex. He didn’t have the balls to face up to the consequences of his actions. Vince McMahon walked into Bret Hart’s locker room and confronted him. And the bottom line is, the firing of Bret Hart has worked out for the WWF whether Hitman fans want to admit it or not. Despite being at the top of WWF’s payroll, Bret Hart was not the WWF’s top draw. For some reason, Bret’s appearances on Raw made fans (myself not included) switch over to Nitro. Fans wanted to see Shawn Michaels, not Bret Hart. It’s no coincedence that ratings skyrocketed after the Hitman’s departure. Now that WCW has him, they are struggling to stay ahead of WWF. The Hitman is not worth 2.5 million a year from a business standpoint. Thus, even though I highly condemn Vince McMahon’s actions and decisions, I do see where he’s coming from.
On top of that, Bret Hart refused to do the job. This whole Canadian hero thing, as I’ve said before, is a bunch of crap. Bret complained when Hogan refused to “pass the torch” to him in 1993, yet now Bret is doing the same thing to Shawn Michaels. Bret Hart may be the best worker in the biz, but he’s a hypocrite, and that’s undeniable.
Rumors of the Pitbulls and Abdullah the Butcher tomorrow on Raw. I hope so. I really want Raw to win this week, if for no other reason than to see how Bischoff is gonna rationalize it.
That is the end of issue one. I hope it gets out! If there are any problems with this newsletter, I know about them already! Please do not flood me with e-mails as I receive the letter, too. IF there are any mistakes, I will try to fix them for the next issue. Bye!!!