TNA sends their condolensces to the families of the victims of last week’s school shootings in Newtown, Connecticut to kick off this weeks’ edition of Impact Wrestling. The show was taped already, so that’s something they did on their own in the past few days and sent to Spike to make sure it aired, really classy by TNA to rush to get that on there. The voice-over guy talks about Hulk Hogan not trusting Bully Ray, Austin Aries paying Aces & Eights off at Final Resolution and Aries-Hardy III tonight.
Footage plays of Jeff Hardy and Austin Aries arriving at the Impact Zone earlier. ATara will defend the Knockouts Championship against either Miss Tessmacher, Mickie James, Velvet Sky, or ODB. But first, we open the show with Kurt Angle coming out to the ring to challenge Devon to defend the TV Title against him. Devon comes out with Aces & Eights, so Angle brings out his crew of Samoa Joe, Garett Bischoff, and Wes Brisco to even the playing field.
TNA Television Championship: Devon (c) vs. Kurt Angle
Kurt Angle and Devon start off this Television Championship match with a brawl, trading right hands in the center of the ring. Angle dodges a charge and Devon tumbles out to the floor. The two groups brawl at rinside as Angle stays by himself in the ring. Unfortunately, he lost sight of Devon, who came in the ring behind Angle and clipped his knee out as we go to commercial.
Back from the break, and Devon is working on Angle’s heavily taped left knee. Devon gets a spinning toehold, Angle gets out and fires off some right hands and then hits a series of clotheslines. Overhead release suplex gets Angle a two count 2, he goes for the Angle Slam but Devon slips out and hits a spinebuster for 2. Angle comes right back with rolling German suplexes, the straps come down, and he gets Devon in the anklelock. Indeed, Aces & Eights and Team Angle run out for another confrontation as yet another member of Aces & Eights pops up on the ring apron and hits Angle in the back of the head with an aluminum bat. Devon makes a cover and gets the biggest singles win of his career.
Winner by Pinfall and STILL Television Champion: Devon
We go backstage to Brooke Hogan’s office as she tries to decide whether Velvet Sky, Brooke Tessmacher, Mickie James, or ODB will get the title shot. They all argue their case until ODB decides on her own to walk out and tell Brooke to kiss her ass on the way out. Brooke looks stressed, I have that same expression because I have to watch her and Velvet. Ugh.
((Jarrett’s Jab – Biggest win of Devon’s career, but at this point does it matter? Aces and Eights have lost so many matches that their wins seem to be a fluke.))
Kenny King is backstage saying that he beat Rob Van Dam last week, and now he gets to team with Rob this week and calls RVD a mentor.
Joey Ryan & Matt Morgan vs. X Division Champion Rob Van Dam & Kenny King
RVD and Joey Ryan start us off, and RVD kicks Joey like a kid would hit a piñata. RVD does the RVD finger taunt and nails a moonsault for two. King comes in almost takes Ryan’s head off with a superkick, but Joey ducks and tags in Morgan, who instead takes King’s head off with a clothesline. Morgan stalks King and slowly dishes out punishment before tagging Joey Ryan back in. Ryan chokes King over the ropes and then suckerpunches RVD off the apron. Ryan distracts the referee so Morgan can reach in from the apron and do like an inverted chokeslam so he dumps King face first on the top turnbuckle. Morgan comes back in, chokes King in the corner with his boot, then hits a nasty looking side suplex. Ryan tags back in and King catches him with a sunset flip for two. King tags out to RVD, who takes Ryan apart with a series of martial arts kicks. RVD and King double dropkick Morgan off the apron and go to work on Ryan, but Morgan comes back in. King sees him and decides to take a walk and leave RVD to take the Carbon Footprint instead. Ryan gets the cover and the win.
Winners by Pinfall: Matt Morgan & Joey Ryan
King is halfway up the ramp and yells “watch out!” to RVD.
We go back to last week and see a clip from AJ Styles’ promo, specifically the part where he says that he’s tired of being the corporate janitor and doing the right thing.
Backstage, Frankie Kazarian is talking to the mystery camera man and emphatically states that he doesn’t care that AJ Styles is walking away, he cares that we’re five days away from Christmas and he has a surprise for his fans. He gets a call from his friend “Nick” and leaves the interview to ask him how Donner’s doing.
Hulk Hogan comes out to the ring and says that it’s been a great year for TNA, and he remembers seeing a teeny tiny company become a huge monster. There’s a ton of great talent in the back and it’s tough to figure out who the best of the best is, so that’s why they’re letting the fans vote for the TNA Wrestler Of The Year, with the winner being announced on January 3rd. Aces & Eights crashes the party, and Devon says Hogan says so many lies he thinks Hogan believes them. 2012 wasn’t Hogan’s year, it was the year that Aces & Eights was formed and the year that they beat the hell out of TNA’s entire locker room. They represent the truth, not like the lies Hogan’s been telling the fans, and 2013 will also be the year that Aces & Eights will be revealed and their goal will be accomplished. Unfortunately, Hogan won’t be around to see it unfold, and the entire gang gets on the apron and surrounds Hogan. Bully Ray runs out with a chain and Aces & Eights heads for the hills. Hogan looks angrily between Aces and Eights and Bully Ray. The two have a stare down before Hogan looks angry at Bully Ray and walks out.
Jeff Hardy is backstage talking with his mouth instead of his mind for a change. He says he used to respect Austin Aries until Aries showed his true colors, and now he has no respect for him and is going to beat him tonight.
We go back to Brooke and the girls as Tessmacher says she hasn’t left and come back like the others, she’s been here the whole time and deserves another shot. Mickie say she hasn’t had a fair shot at the title, and Velvet says she and Mickie came back at the same time and neither of them had a fair shot. Brooke decided that since Tessmacher has been working so hard, she’s going to eliminate her and bring it down to Velvet and Mickie. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I beg someone to explain a way that makes sense. Hogan’s aren’t good actors and apparently there not good businesspeople either.))
Frankie Kazarian is backstage, and he’s…carrying a present!
We look back at the crappy year AJ Styles has had, then Frankie Kazarian comes out to the ring with presents in hand. He tells the “ass goblins” in the crowd that they can’t ruin his mood because we’re only days away from Christmas, he’s in the spirit, and his tree that he brought to the ring has two stars on top of it (a picture of Christopher Daniels and himself). He brings Daniels out to the ring, with Daniels stopping to take an Appletini from someone off-camera before getting in the ring and sitting in the Santa seat Kazarian thoughtfully had set up in the ring. Kazarian says that with Daniels being such a good friend and a huge winner, he’s going to bring out another good friend of his, the man with the biggest sack he’s ever seen, Santa Claus! Santa looks pretty skinny to me. Kazarian sits him in the chair and says that since he’s so good to everyone, they got him a present: a pair of Zubaz pants. Santa has Daniels sit on his lap, with Daniels handing Kazarian his iPhone to take a picture, then Santa asks Daniels if he’s been a good boy this holiday season. Daniels says he’s been really good because he got rid of the biggest loser in TNA. Santa says he’s going to grant Daniels a holiday wish, and Daniels says that it’s about giving gifts and not receiving them, so he asks Santa to get something for AJ Styles’ kids because their dad is a loser.
James Storm comes out and says that he was standing in the back listening to them, and they can run down AJ Styles if they want to, but he’s not going to let them talk bad about Christmas. Daniels tells Santa that Storm is the man who made it so AJ can’t get a title shot for a year and to put him on the naughty list, so Storm comes in the ring and takes his jacket off. Storm tops to check out Santa and questions whether he’s really Santa, then lists off a bunch of stuff he never got for Christmas when he was a kid. He knows Santa is busy this time of year, but he asks Santa what Storm asked for last year for Christmas. Santa says it must be something country like a Travis Tritt CD, Storm says he’s close but he actually asked for a case of beer. He superkicks Santa out of his chair, then tells him to put that in their pipe and smoke it. Storm takes Santa’s sack and tosses the presents to the “ass goblins” in the crowd as Daniels and Kazarian high-tail it out of there.
Aries is backstage asking the cameraman if he could hear his thoughts, and says his brainwaves must be higher than Jeff Hardy’s. Aries says that this isn’t Hardy’s specialty, a ladder match; this was a wrestling match…his specialty. He’s going to prove why he’s the best wrestler in the universe and regain his TNA World title.
Brooke Hogan is backstage, and she’s…WALKING!
((Jarrett’s Jab – When I saw skinny Santa, I thought it may have been AJ Styles. TNA has had a lot of people lose their smiles this year, James Storm, Bobby Roode and AJ Styles, it cools their momentum and doesn’t help anything. And I love that Aries made fun of those ridiculous Hardy thought promos. Whoever thought of those should be fired.))
A new 1/3/13 video plays, spoiling it for the two people that didn’t know it was going to be Sting. What I noticed is that he had the crow make-up on instead of the joker paint. Sting wants his bat back and he’s coming for Aces & Eights, and DOC in particular.
We go to the Aces & Eights clubhouse where the Vice President says they need more muscle so they don’t get run off again like they did earlier. Devon says he knows someone he thinks would be smart muscle, and he says the guy can be kind of arrogant but might be just pissed off enough to work out. They vote on having a sit down meeting with this person next week, and they unanimously decide to see what Devon has up his sleeve.
Brooke Hogan is backstage and decides that Mickie James will get the title shot. She tells Velvet that she’s doing her a favor and to watch Tara since she might be next in line to get a title shot. Velvet acts bitchy instead of grateful. Grinch.
TNA Knockouts Championship: Tara (c) vs Mickie James
Mickie catches Tara with several rollups right off the bat, but she consistently kicks out of them. Jesse trips Mickie from the floor while Taryn isn’t looking, but Tara only gets two. Tara tosses Mickie across the ring by her hair and goes for a couple of pinfall attempts to no avail. Tara locks Mickie in a surfboard and Mickie escapes and gets another rollup, but Jesse distracts Terrell and Tara manages to recover and powerslam Mickie. Mickie gets her knees up on the standing moonsault, and they trade right hands on their knees until they get to their feet and Mickie gets an advantage. Mickie gets a DDT and tries a cover, but Jesse grabs Tara by the right leg and drags her out to the floor. Mickie wipes Jesse out with a dive off the top rope and then rolls Tara back inside. Jesse hold her ankle on the way in and distracts Mickie just long enough to hit what looked like an modified-inverted atomic drop. Tara makes a cover and gets the win.
Winner by Pinfall and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara
Austin Aries and Jeff Hardy are backstage, and they’re…WALKING!
Danny Davis is trying to train Joseph Park to wrestle in OVW and chewing him out for not quite getting it. We see Park screw up a drop toehold and throw really weak forearms. Davis has to show him how to do it and knocks Sam Shaw on his ass. Shaw accidentally bloodies Park’s nose. Park loses his mind and clotheslines him before flattening him with a Black Hole Slam, then snaps out of it as Davis asks him if he’s okay.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Austin Aries
They tie up and Aries takes Hardy to the ropes, but breaks clean. Hardy takes Aries to the corner and goes to break clean, but Aries kicks him in the gut and starts stomping him. Hardy quickly recovers and launches Aries across the ring into the corner and slams him for a quick one count. Aries slams Hardy and goes out to the apron, but Hardy gets the knees up on a slingshot senton attempt. Hardy nails a snapmare/dropkick to the back combination for a two count before sending Aries to the corner and hitting ten right hands. Hardy lets up on his challenger to do his stupid dance before beating Aries until he falls out to the floor. Aries wants a time-out and is able to avoid several attempted moves by Aries. A Double rolls in the ring and connects with a series of knees to Hardy’s gut and whips him to the ropes for a hard back elbow. Hardy immediately recovers and clotheslines Aries out to the floor, but Aries dodges a running dive off the apron and Hardy smashes into the barricade. Aries rolls in as the referee counts, and we go to commercial.
Aries hits a slingshot senton on Hardy for a two count as we come back from the break. Aries nails a punt him in the back before pausing to yell at some fans. Aries starts working on Hardy’s back with forearms, but Hardy catches Aries with a flying headscissors that sends him crashing headfirst into the corner. Hardy comes off the second rope for a splash, but Aries gets the knees up. Aries tries to hit the brainbuster, but Hardy blocks and counters to a gourdbuster. Hardy hits the second rope splash the second time arsplash and Aries kicks out at two. Hardy sets up for the Twist of Fate, but Aries shoves him off into the corner and charges after him. Hardy tries leapfrogging into the headscissors again, and this time Aries is ready and shoves Hardy off, dropping him groin first on the top rope. Aries charges toward Hardy and nails the elbow in the corner and the the IED for two. Aries goes for the brainbuster again, but Hardy slips out the back and gets a powerbomb into an overhead flapjack for two. Aries dodges the Whisper In The Wind and tries another brainbuster, Hardy fights him off and hits the Twist of Fate. He tries another, but Aries blocks him and comes off the second rope…right into a Manhattan Drop. Hardy picks up Aries’ legs, Aries kicks Hardy off and sends him crashing into the referee, wiping him out. Aries takes advantage and hits a low blow, followed by the brainbuster, then folds Hardy over and makes a cover as a second referee runs in to make the count. Bobby Roode runs out of the locker room and pulls the second referee out of the ring, then flips Aries off and gives him the Double R spinebuster before heading back up the ramp. Twist of Fate catches Aries as the referee comes to. Hardy hits the Swanton and defeats Austin Aries for the third time.
Winner by Pinfall and STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Jeff Hardy
Bobby Roode stands at the top of the ramp smiling at Aries as Hardy ties his shirt around his waist.
Hulk Hogan is in the parking lot telling the annoying cameraman that he plans to get the World Title situation and Aces & Eights figured out in 2013, then he looks across the parking lot and sees Bully Ray and Brooke make out. Hulk ignores any further questions from the cameraman and just gets in his car and drives away. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I’m so sick of this whole storyline. Both of the Hogans are terrible actors and Bully Ray can’t keep people interested by himself. This is like the Claire Lynch stuff from last year, but neither Hogan is going to quit TNA.
On behalf of everyone here at TNAStars, I wish all of you have a great holiday season and a happy new year!))