((Jarrett’s Jab – I’d like to apologize for not having this up Thursday, about half way through the show I started to feel sick and missed the rest of it. I’ve finally gotten to find it online and watch the rest. Anyway here’s my Impact Report.))
Impact Wrestling opens with a narrated video that highlighted the three top matches from Final Resolution.
From inside the Impact Zone, Bobby Roode comes out to address the crowd to kick off this week’s edition of Impact Wrestling. Roode admits that he’s a little taken back, confused and a whole lot of pissed off as he tries to wrap his head around what happened at Final Resolution. Roode states that he considers himself a pretty intelligent business man and made a very lucrative investment into the World Heavyweight Championship, he even guaranteed he would be the World Heavyweight Champion as the fans boo that. Roode said it didn’t happen and he made a deal with Aces and Eights…and where he’s from, a deal is a deal and yells that he wants answers and calls out Aces and Eights. Aces and Eights come out in numbers with Devon leading the way. Roode is yelling that he wants answers and Devon stumbles on his lines as he says a better deal comes out on the plate. Roode yells “So you’re saying someone outbid me?” Devon calls Roode a businessman and Aces and Eights a club that likes to do business and someone came by and made a better deal. Roode yells who paid Aces and Eights more money than him. Devon says that when they make a deal, they keep it within the club as he makes his way to the ring with DOC. Devon reiterates that he can’t tell him who “outbiddded” him, but later tonight, he may just get his answer. Jeff Hardy’s music came out to interrupt and Roode gets out of the ring. Hardy comes out with James Storm and Hardy demands his music to be cut. Hardy says that he’s tired of all this business talk about who paid who, they’re not out here to play detective, they are here to fight, and the two run right past Roode and jump Devon and DOC. Taz praises Hardy getting his revenge on Aces and Eights after two attacks and Kenely says that Storm always likes a fight.
The two pose in the ring as we go to the commentary booth with Taz, Todd Kenely and Mike Tenay as Kenenly speculates who outbid Roode. Mike Tenay segways and mentions how great it would be to see Hardy and Storm team against The Aces and Eights tonight. Kenely talks about Championship Thursday returning next week and segways to a video with one of the candidates…Velvet Sky.
Sky is in a pre-taped video in some awful looking Catwoman reject outfit talking about how great it was to return to the Impact Zone and how she’s been gone for the last six months, and about the “ovation” she got during her return last week and how everyone was up on their feet. She vows that you’ll see a different side of Velvet Sky. She does a really awkward dance that looks like she really has to go to the bathroom, but trying to make it look sexy. Velvet says that the pigeons have been locked up for too long and they’re getting let loose…next!
((Jarrett’s Jab – I loved the opening segment and Hardy cut the best promo of his career. That’s not an understatement; he sounded focused, didn’t pander to the crowd and seemed to put emotion in it, and best of all, it actually made sense. Meanwhile Devon, the figurehead of Aces and Eights stumbled on his lines twice and managed to turn “outbid” into “outbiddded” twice. Velvet Sky is just groan-inducing and I said it on twitter, but I really hope this new side involves talent. At least she didn’t go ultra-sonic like she usually does.))
Video was shown from Final Resolution of Mickie James talking about how she let herself and all her fans down and this isn’t how she wanted to end 2012. She states that she wanted to come back and make an Impact, she is better than that and calls herself the best damn wrestler and that she allowed it to happen is bullshit. (Which unfortunately is censored this week.)
Madison Rayne makes her way to the ring with longer hair than her last TNA appearance. Taz says that it’s always great to see Madison on Impact Wrestling. I can definitely agree with that. Taz practically drools over her as she makes her entrance.
Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky
Tenay briefly talks about their past, including being members of the Beautiful People. Rayne gets a cheapshot from behind to start the match, but Velvet whips her into the turnbuckle twice before ramming her head two turnbuckles. Kick to the back and a snapmare by Venvet before a basement dropkick gains Velvet two. Tenay announces that Jeff Hardy and James Storm will face Aces and Eights as Madison runs through Velvet with a clothesline. Madison stands on the hair and pulls on Velvet’s arms before telling Taryn Terrell she has till five before doing it again. The crowd gets behind Velvet as Madison chokes her with the second rope. A loud “Let’s Go Velvet” chant starts before Rayne hits the a series of “pelvic thrusts” as Kenely called it and gets two off of that. Vevlvet hits an awkward facebuster before hitting multiple clotheslines and a bulldog. Velvet hits the In Yo Face for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Velvet Sky
Kurt Angle is backstage with Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff and says that he will be in their corner for their match tonight. Bischoff says they are going to get a cup of coffee first and Angle pulls out a large store register display of Five Hour Energy and tells them that “it will knock their socks off.”
((Jarrett’s Jab – New outfit, same Velvet Sky. She hasn’t gotten any better in the ring than she was when she left, which is a shame because of how excited that everyone was online to see her brought back. I’d rather have Jillian Hall in TNA than her, at least she’s someone that can put on a good match and help out some of these younger girls. Poor Madison had to carry Velvet through this match. ))
Christopher Daniels and Kazarian are walking backstage, and are asked if they were part of the Aces and Eights payoff. Daniels and Kazarian both deny it. Kazarian calls Roode a friend and they know how to treat friends. Daniels says his focus was squarely on beating AJ Styles one last time, and he did that without any help from anybody. Kazarian says that he should be asking AJ Styles because he’s got nothing to lose and is on the end of his rope. Daniels chimes in by saying that if “AJ wants anything; he definitely has to pay for it.” Kazarian notes that “Nothing’s changed there” before Daniels takes a sip of his appletini and laughs before they both walk off.
Video highlights from the awful 8-man tag between Aces and Eights and the team of Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff.
Robbie E and Robbie T vs. Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff
The two Robbies jump the upstart team at the bell while their backs are turned. Robbie T and Wes star the actual match in the ring and connects with a powerslam on Briscoe before tagging in Robbie E. E chokes Brisco in the corner while yelling “Who do you think you are?” Robbie E connects with a slap as Brisco tries to escape from the corner, but Robbie E clips the knee and Robbie T comes in the ring and claps before stomping Brisco. Huge bearhug and Brisco tries to elbow his way out and does. Robbie E knocks Garett off of the apron and claps before yelling at Brisco in the ring. Powerslam by Robbie E and he goes off the top, but narrowly avoids the boot of Wes. Robbie E tries a pendulum elbow, but Brisco rolls out of the way and tags in Bischoff. Bischoff runs through Robbie E with a series of clotheslines and shoulderblock before hitting a Stinger Splash so high that it sends him to the apron. Flapjack connects before Robbie T grabs the hair and stops Bischoff’s momentum. Robbie E tags Robbie T and he whips Bischoff off the ropes, but Brisco tags his back before he clotheslines Robbie E over the top rope. Brisco comes off the top rope with a crossbody and manages to get three.
Winners by Pinfall: Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff
The two hug as Taz calls it an upset. I find that weird because when have Robbie E and Robbie T ever won a match that wasn’t against a Gut Check contestant? An Aces and Eights member hits the left knee of Angle with a steel pipe and Kenely speculates about how that knee is going to be next week when Angle faces Devon for the Television Championship. Briscoe and Bischoff check on Angle as we head to commercial.
((Jarrett’s Jab – After how bad Garett Bischoff was at Final Resolution, I dunno why they gave him more wrestling time tonight. With less than a minute in the match, I honestly think that I could put on a better effort than Garrett Bischoff did. He’s progressively gotton worse in the ring, and I didn’t think that would be possible with how bad he was to begin with. They should be sending him to OVW, not Joesph Park!))
Back from the commercial break, we get a replay of the end of the tag match and Angle getting attacked by a member of Aces and Eights.
Angle is shown with a trainer and the knee looks swollen. Angle cusses and it’s censored as he asks for ice. The trainer says it looks like it’s not a ligament as Angle is censored again.
Tenay sets up a video of Joesph Park going to Ohio Valley Wrestling in Louisville, Kentucky. Joesph has a hard time getting out of his rented Black Volkswagon Bug and gets some training by “Nightmare” Danny Davis. ((Jarrett’s Jab – This was more of a commercial for OVW than it was comedy. I’m ok with that because it is free publicity, it does tie into an angle and I am from Kentucky. It wasn’t the best Joesph Park segment, but it was better than any Abyss segment.))
Tara knocks before coming into Brooke Hogan’s office and notes that she did so she won’t interrupt Hogan “with any of your boyfriends.” Tara talked about their boyfriends fighting tonight and she doesn’t want Jesse hurting Bully Ray hurting their friendship and says “Us A-List Celebrities have to stick together.” That’s quite a stretch on the term A-List. Tara also states she’s going to help Brooke pick her opponent for Championship Thursday since Brooke has a lot on her plate that way they can entertain the fans. Brooke responds by saying she knows Tara has a lot on her plate too, like autograph signings at grocery stores, but she’s picking the challenger and Tara will find out when everyone else does. Tara snaps and tells Jesse that he better beat Bully Ray tonight and walks out. Brooke says that your boyfriend could use another sock in his shorts.”
The 1-3-13 video plays before Kenny King talks about how his match with RVD was dream match for the fans and for him, but he came up short. King states that he’s the type of person that learns more from his losses than from his wins and tonight isn’t about the belt, it’s about what he learned. King says that RVD may be the champ, but tonight he will be knocked “square on your ass.”
James Storm and TNA World Champion James Storm vs. Aces and Eights (DOC and Big Guy)
It may be a small knitpick from me, but Hardy having his eyes closed on the top rope when Aces and Eights are about to make their entrance just seem like a dumbass move and like he doesn’t take the group that has jumped him twice seriously. Storm starts the match against DOC and starts slugging with DOC. Storm dominates early and reverse anything DOC does before tagging in Hardy and the World Champion hits a sledge to the left elbow and an armwringer before tagging in the huge masked guy. Hardy hits a hurricanrana that sends the big guy over the top rope. Hardy uses the ropes to hold balance during a kick to the outside and clotheslining both of them from the apron. Hardy slides back in the ring and dances like an idiot before grabbing at his back and ribs as we go to commercial.
Back from the beak. Hardy has DOC in a headlock and kicks him in the face before the big guy clotheslines Hardy from the apron and DOC kicks him out of the ring. The big guy drops from the apron and Storm heads over to stop anything. The ref gets him to step away and the big guy stomps on Hardy. Storm goes right after DOC and the referee is able to get Hardy and DOC back in the ring. Hard hits right hands to the ribs before hitting tagging the big guy in. The big guy kicks at the ribs before spearing him into the Aces and Eights corner and hitting a few right hands before tagging DOC back in. DOC uses his boot to choke Hardy in the corner and as the referee scolds DOC, Hardy makes it half way to Storm before he’s dragged back and the big guy is tagged in. The big guy gets two and gets a side headlock to try and keep Hardy away from Storm. Hardy hits a jawbreaker and goes to the Aces and Eights corner, which Taz says that he must be dazed and calls from his own experience. DOC is tagged in and chokes Hardy on the bottom rope. DOC kicks at the ribs and tries to hold on to the left leg before getting a side headlock. DOC is almost knocked off the apron and DOC scissors the leg together as he tags in the big guy. Tenay says he hates to do it, but he praises Aces and Eights for putting on a tag team clinic and being able to isolate Hardy for as long as they have. The big guy chokes Hardy before sending him to the outside. DOC sends Hardy hard into the steel guardrail, right shoulder first. The big guy covers for two and DOC is tagged back in again. DOC hits a big splash, but Storm breaks up the count. DOC stomps at Hardy’s ribs and cinches in a chinlock and the fans start to rally behind the World Champion. Hardy elbows his way out, and hits the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy almost makes it to Storm, but DOC kicks hard at the ribs and drags him back to his corner tagging in the big guy as we get a graphic that takes up a good portion of the screen, advertising LockDown tickets at the Alamodome being on sale now. The graphic features Hulk Hogan, Bobby Roode, Chavo Guerrero, Jr., and Jeff Hardy. One of those names is not like the others. The big guy kicks at the ribs and Hardy tires to make it to Storm and Hardy kicks to be able to make it. Storm is tagged in and is a house of fire with the corner enziguiri and a crossbody to the big guy for two. Storm tags Hardy in for some reason and Hardy hits the Poetry in Motion. Hardy and Storm hit a double suplex on DOC. Two big Aces and Eights members come out and are taken out by Storm and Hardy. Devon gets hit with the Closing Time Codebreaker and gets clotheslined out by Hardy. Storm hits the Last Call on DOC and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate on the big guy for the win.
Winners by Pinfall: James Storm and the TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy
Aces and Eights storm the ring. Devon says that the club doesn’t fight other people’s business and revealed the person that paid them off was Austin Aries. Hardy has a cut right below his right eye as the two looked shocked. Taz can’t believe that Aries is the one that “outbiddded” Roode (he said it that way too) and Tenay notes that sounds like something that Aries would do, but could you trust Aces and Eights had to say. Taz says that that’s a pretty good point.
Backstage Hulk Hogan is absolutely flipping out and demanding that one of the crew members tell him where Aries is. Bobby Roode is ballistic and asks Hogan if he heard it and asks who would do that? Hogan says that if that is true, then Roode is in the same boat that he is in. Roode responds by saying that he is worse off because Aries ruined his main event. Aries apparently calls Hogan and Roode goes ultra-sonic, demanding to talk to him. Hogan yells at Roode to stand back and talks to him and tells Aries that he will say whatever he wants to say, but he better say it by the end of the night. Hogan yells at Roode to back off and says that he hasn’t decided what to do with Aries yet. Roode yells that Hogan better have a plan.
Kenely quickly announces that AJ Styles will speak…next!
((Jarrett’s Jab – Hogan is the worst babyface ever. Roode is a guy who paid off Aces and Eights and tried to use them to become the World Champion at Final Resolution, but Roode came off more as a face than Hogan did. ))
A video package plays highlighting the phenomenal (pun intended) match that AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels had at Final Resolution and Daniels saying that he defeated the white knight with his own sword. AJ Styles is shown after the match in the trainers office with Hebner trying to shoo away the camera man by saying that Styles is injured and doesn’t even know where he’s at.
AJ Styles makes his entrance in the Impact Zone wearing street gear, an Impact Wrestling shirt and hat. AJ says that he demanded this time tonight to address the fans tonight. AJ states that he doesn’t have to tell the fans everything like where he’s been or where he’s going and the fans start a “You Still Got It” chant. AJ tells the fans not to worry, he’s not going anywhere, but says that the truth is that he doesn’t know where he’s going. AJ talks about how much time he’s spent being a corporate guy, that he’s forgotten about Number One: AJ Styles. He’s out there to say that this has nothing to do with the fans, the Impact Zone, Dixie Carter and Impact Wrestling before stripping his Impact Wrestling shirt and hat off and saying that it has everything to do with AJ Styles. AJ says that he’s so sick and tired of being the corporate janitor and cleaning up every TNA mess, and he’s tired of doing the right thing. AJ states that from now on, he’s going to be doing his own thing before throwing the microphone down and leaving the ring. ((Jarrett’s Jab – One of the best AJ Styles I can remember and I’ve been watching TNA since 2005. If this was his heel turn, they better think again, not a single fan booed him, and maybe it’s just me being an AJ Styles fan, but I actually sympathize with him. AJ hasn’t really gotten a fair shake like you would think he has. He’s the face of TNA, but he basically the Chris Jericho of TNA. He’s the go-to guy for any rising star to lose to get credibility, but everyone forgets how good he actually is. ))
A replay aired of the end of AJ Styles’ promo before we go backstage in the parking lot where Dixie Carter has caught up with AJ Styles and asks what’s going on and AJ throws the Impact Wrestling shirt at her and walks off.
Christopher Daniels and Kazarian are watching this all go down and Daniels is shocked that AJ isn’t “just leaving the building…he’s leaving!” He dances around and calls it Christmas, Kazarian says it’s not like Christmas and says he has a gift for him and starts singing as he walks off screen. Daniels follows him and says “I got you the gift certificate! I didn’t think we were doing big gifts this year!” ((Jarrett’s Jab – I love Daniels! Even in two minutes he can entertain like no one else.))
Kenny King vs. TNA X Division Champion Rob Van Dam
Tenay talks about the tough situation AJ Styles is in and Taz says he doesn’t know what to say and what ‘doing his own thing’ means. We get some brief still shots highlighting the X Division title match between Rob Van Dam and Kenny King from Final Resolution. The two tie up and King gets a headlock before RVD is able to pry his way out and get a wristlock applied. The two reach a stalemate and shake hands before they kick each other in the shin at the same time. RVD connects with a kick to King’s face and shrugs his shoulder. RVD poses and King kicks him from behind sending him to the outside and King follows with a corkscrew dive. King rolls him back in the ring and gets a two count. Snap Suplex by King and some mounted punches to RVD’s face before the X Division Champion gets to his feet and gets all of King in the corner and gets a two count. Tenay says how aggressive King is compared to Sunday and RVD is bleeding out of the left side of his head. King charges and eats a spinkick. RVD connects with another kick in the corner and gets a leg drop from the top rope for two. King connects with a Pelé kick and a springboard into a blockbuster from the apron for two. King charges into the corner, but RVD moves out of the way and gets slammed. RVD misses the split-legged moonsault but gets all of the northern lights suplex and bridges for two. RVD nails another spinkick to King and rolls him over and teases Rolling Thunder before hitting another leg drop. RVD goes up top, but King pops up and hits several right hands to stop RVD. RVD hits a crossbody, but King rolls through and pins RVD with his feet on the ropes.
Winner by Pinfall: Kenny King
King dances his way up the ramp as Taz talks about how big of a win that is, despite his cheating.
Bully Ray interrupts Hogan on the phone and Hogan asks what he’s doing here. Ray asks if he’s had a change of heart since Final Resolution. Hogan says he hasn’t because Ray continues his shenangians instead of coming to him and saying that “me and your daughter has this thing going on” and if it wasn’t for Ray, Brooke wouldn’t be at Aries’ disposal and he hasn’t changed his mind about anything one thing and it’s become business for him. Ray yells “What makes you think I have anything going on with your daughter?” Ray says that maybe she’s invested and has been making “googly-eyes” at him. Hogan says that it may be one-sided, and mentions the two getting caught on the couch. Ray yells that no one was thrown on the couch and Brooke was apologizing for Hulk treating him like bullshit. Hogan says that if that’s the way it is, and there isn’t anything going on, then Ray shouldn’t have any problem never seeing her again. Ray says he was trying to do the right thing by shutting Aries up and standing up for Brooke like he did when he stood by Sting and talks about how he bleed for Team Hogan, but he’s still not accepted. Ray asks what does he have to do to get Hulk’s respect, because there are only a few guys that Bully Ray has ever had respect for, and he’s always had respect for Hulk. Hogan retorts by telling him don’t use that, a seatbelt, or Brooke hold him back. Ray responds with the million dollar answer: Brooke is a grown woman and what she does is her business before walking out. Hogan says “weak” after Ray left before we see a quick graphic for Bully Ray’s upcoming match with Jesse.
We are shown the matches announced for Championship Thursday next week including Kurt Angle challenging for Devon’s Telelvision Championship and Tara having to defend her Knockouts Championship against either Velvet Sky, Mickie James, ODB, or Miss Tessmacher.
Jesse (with Tara) vs. Bully Ray
Ray connects sledge-like blows to the back of Jesse to start off this match. Ray hits a clothesline and he punches Jessie in the top of the head. Ray walks through Jesse with a shoulder tackle and punches him in the face. Jesse connects with an uppercut to the throat and he chops Ray. Ray doesn’t look thrilled and no-sells two chops to the chest before running right into a big boot. Ray shows Jessie how to chop someone and he falls down to his knees. Ray hits one so hard; Jeff Jarrett must have heard it in Mexico. Tara runs in the room to try to reason for Bully Ray and Ray smacks her ass so hard she falls out of the ring. Jesse snaps with a double sledge to the back and wails on him as Kenely talks about him snapping. Jesse dominates Ray with crossface shots and a nice dropkick. Jesse poses and looks like he has a little blood on his right cheek and hits another dropkick. Jesse drags Ray to the center of the ring and hits an elbow to the head before getting a hard slap to the chest. Tara tries to talk Jesse into it and he runs through Ray with a clothesline. Jesse hits a few rights and chokes Ray in the corner with his boot. Tara chokes Ray on the ropes and Ray eats yet another dropkick. Kenely briefly talks about how well the dropkick has worked for Jesse in this match to keep Ray off his feet. Jesse misses a legdrop and Ray nails the Bully Cutter for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Bully Ray
Bully Ray gets on the apron and screams into the Hard Camera “What’s it going to take Hogan?” and you can clearly see a good sized gash above his left eye. We get a replay of the Bully Cutter and Ray poses for the fans three times before we see Austin Aries walking backstage.
Aries tells the camera guy that he already has a shadow and Aries knows that he wants answers, but he’ll have to wait like everybody else does.
The 1-3-13 video plays and we head to commercial
We get a replay of the end of the main event of Final Resolution and the Aces and Eights attack afterwards, and a replay of Devon revealing that Aries paid them off from earlier tonight.
A Double, Austin Aries, makes his way to the ring in street clothes and takes a microphone from So Cal Val before getting in the ring. Aries says that he can’t say he’s surprised that the kitten is out of the bag about him trumping Roode’s money, but there is no honor among thieves, but he didn’t care as long as they got he job done. He says that while Roode’s money talked, Aries’ sang. Aries says that he’s envious of Devon because when he fights other people’s battles, he gets paid and talks about how Hogan had Aries to fight his battle earlier this year against Aces and Eights and he never got paid. He was sent to the frontline and after he did the dirty work, he was passed aside so Hogan could jump on the Jeff Hardy bandwagon and he doesn’t forgive or forget. Aries states that is why he’s been pushing buttons and he won’t stop until he gets a World Heavyweight Championship shot. Jeff Hardy comes out and he tells Aries that this is about him and what he has, and he hired a motorcycle gang to try and get it. Hardy says that all Aries had to do was ask like a man, and Aries says if he’s sure if has to “climb a ladder, scale some jungle gym or build a moat around the ring and have some kind of dragon slayer match.” Aries says that he doesn’t have to ask because he has to jump through hoops. Hardy applauds Aries for opening up his imagination, but all he has to do is just show up next week and he’ll put his belt on the line. Aries asks if he has to do it in front of all these idiots, these creatures of the nights, but he’s not going to do what the fans want, he’s going to do what he wants on his timeline. Hardy says that is the difference between the two, he always does what the fans want before cheapshotting Aries. Aries manages to hold his own and almost hit the Brainbuster before falling victim to the Twist of Fate. Hardy goes on top for the Swanton, but Aries rolls out of the ring. Aries tries to grab the World Title, but Hardy jumps on top of it. Aries yells that it’s on and we head to credits.
((Jarrett’s Jab – After a great Hardy promo earlier, we get this train wreck. Hardy’s promos don’t seem natural, his cadence is like a fifth grader trying to read cue cards, it doesn’t feel like it’s really him saying it. It doesn’t help that TNA doesn’t know how to book Hardy as a face without him looking like an idiot. Every heel that has made cheapshots at him have been 100% correct, whether it was Jeff Jarrett talking about all of Hardy’s no-shows during his first run in TNA or Aries sarcastically asking if he has to be in another ladder match to get a World Title shot. I’m sure Aries/Hardy III will be great, but after tonight you have to think that Bobby Roode will be close by. That’s it for me.))