iMPACT Wrestling Results (8/9): Dead Man's Warning


Impact Wrestling

Opening Segment

Impact Wrestling opens up with a recap of the Claire Lynch saga to annoy TNA fans worldwide before recapping how James Storm has not been attacked by Aces and Eights.

Fireworks inside the Impact Zone open up and out comes TNA’s resident Bully and the man who’s trending worldwide on tha twittah machine (not really, not yet anyways) Bully Ray. Ray tweets on his way down the ring with a sign that says “#TWITTAHMACHINE” is held up behind him by a fan. Ray yells for his music to be cut off and asks the fans if they know who he is and introduces himself as the leader of the Bully Nation. He holds up his iPhone and says it is his fire breathing “Twittah Machine.” Ray gives Joseph Park credit and he learned that there is enough evidence stacked up against someone, they must be guilty and every bit of evidence is pointing right back at James Storm. Ray announces that he will prove that he is the leader of Aces and Eights, beat him tonight, and win the Tables match at Hardcore Justice to get 20 points. Ray tells the fans to “Shut the hell up and stop booing, you know I’m right.” Ray starts talking about the facts that proves that Storm is leading Aces and Eights, but before he can say any of them, James Storm power walks down the ramp and into the ring with a microphone in his hand.

Storm tells Ray that he didn’t “hear one fact come out of your damn mouth” and he is sick and tired of everyone running their mouth and he tells Ray he had nothing to do with those attacks because he’s more worried about winning the Bound for Glory series and taking back his World Heavyweight Champion. Storm yells that he’s all warmed up and where he comes from, if two people are feuding, they draw a line and if someone crosses it, they get beat up. Storm draws an imaginary line and says in three seconds he’s going to cross it and kick the crap of out him. Storm gets to three, and Ray gets on the apron. Storm says that anyone that doesn’t believe him can come out. Aces and Eights appear on the tron with their faces covered up and one of them talks with their voice scrambled. The guy said that last week they were taking care of club business and they will come out on their terms. Bully Ray challenges James Storm to say that isn’t him and we awkwardly cut to a Burger King commercial.

((Jarrett’s Jab – The second half of the recap video was good in setting up the opening segment. Bully Ray continues to stand out as the best heel in pro wrestling period. If I was Dixie Carter, I’d start throwing money to get him to stay. He’s easily the best act in the company, they can’t afford to lose the guy that went from one of the most legendary tag teams of all time to one of the most over heels in TNA history.))

-Commercial Break-

A commercial hyping Bound for Glory tickets being on sale for TNA’s biggest PPV of the year October 14th in Phoenix, the town that’s getting everything lately (Between two wrestling companies, they’ve got a PPV last month, Bound for Glory, and one in January.)

Pope is backstage saying the Bound For Glory Series hasn’t gone quite the way he imagined, but he’s picking up 20 points this weekend because, if he makes it to the final four, he’s going to Bound For Glory and bringing the title home to the Congregation.

The BFG Series standings are shown and James Storm is in the lead with 66 points, Samoa Joe is in 2nd place with 53 points. Mister Anderson is at commentary for the next match.

Bound for Glory Series: Rob Van Dam (28 Points) vs. Magnus (21 Points)

Taz tells Anderson that this Sunday is the last chance Anderson can get points in the Bound for Glory series. RVD and Magnus start off with some chain wrestling headlocks. RVD tries a shoulder tackle, but runs right into Magnus. Magnus sends RVD to the outside with a clothesline and slams RVD head first into the steel barricade. Anderson talks about how tall and thick Magnus is and that you can’t tell unless you see him in person as Magnus gets a near fall on RVD. A Suplex by Magnus gets him another two count. RVD nails a kick from the second rope and both men are down. They make it to their feet at four and RVD starts getting a few kicks in, but gets a knee to the gut. RVD hits a kick and tries a monkey flip but eats a clothesline. Magnus covers and RVD barely gets up at two. RVD goes for the monkey flip again, and Magnus counters, but gets a spin kick for his effort. Anderson is asked about Aces and Eights and he says he doesn’t know what to think. RVD nails the Five Star and gets a three count.

Winner by Pinfall: Rob Van Dam (Gains 7 Points, now has 35)

Bobby Roode says there is some language in the contract for the Hardcore Justice main event that he isn’t happy about, and his lawyers aren’t happy about. He tells the cameraman that he may just stick that contract “up A Double’s ass.” Roode laughs and states “let the games begin.”

((Jarrett’s Jab – Ok match between RVD and Magnus, Anderson didn’t add much on commentary, but he didn’t take anything away either. He did put over Magnus as being bigger than he appears, which may have helped some fans believe Magnus could win while he had the upper hand. Bobby Roode continues to shine and this is one of the contract signings I’m actually looking forward to.))

-Commercial Break-

A replay of the baby shower Christopher Daniels and Kazarian throwing Claire Lynch a baby shower and Claire’s awkward and annoying yelling.

TNA World Tag Team Championships: Christopher Daniels and Kazarian vs. Devon and Garett Bischoff

Oh god, shoot me now please. I thought we were done with Bischoff. People can say what they will, but I will never be happy with Garrett or Brooke Hogan taking TNA TV-time. Daniels and Kazarian are introduced by request as the “TNA World Tag Team Champions of the World” which Taz calls redundant.

Devon and Kazarian start the match off. Devon his a nice spinning forearm to start the match. Garrett is tagged in and hits a spear, scoop slam, and an elbow drop for two. Daniels is tagged in and Garett hits a back elbow for two. Devon is tagged in and hits a leg drop for two. Double team move by Devon and Garett and an atomic drop. Garett goes off the ropes but Kazarian holds him until Daniels gets to his feet and nails an STO for two. Kazarian tags in and hits a few right hands before tagging Daniels back in and he covers for two. Daniels picks Garett up and throws him in a corner and stomps a mud hole in him. Garett hits a right hand and monkey flips Kazarian before he tags in Devon. Devon clears house with the Tag team champions with a spine buster Kazarian and clothesline Daniels over the top ropes. Daniels brings the Tag Team championship belt into the ring and ducks down to send Garett flying over the top rope. Kazarian nails Devon with the Television Championship belt and covers him for three.

Winners by Pinfall and STILL World Tag Team Champions of the World: Christopher Daniels and Kazarian

A replay of the Brooke Hogan and Sting segment from last week. Sting says that he sent Brooke Hogan home this week and is still calling Aces and Eights out.

((Jarrett’s Jab – The tag team match played strongly to Garett’s strengths and didn’t show many weaknesses. Until he improves in the wrestling and charisma department, maybe tag team wrestling is where he needs to be. As for Brooke Hogan, I’ve even stated not three paragraphs above this that I don’t like her, and I’m glad she’s not here, TNA isn’t ignoring what happened last week with Aces and Eights sending a ‘threat’ her way.))

-Commercial Break-

A commercial played hyping a big sale on and

A video promo played with the members of the Bound for Glory series talk about how much winning means to them hyping Hardcore Justice this Sunday.

Robbie E is in the ring with Robbie T with a table between them. E says that nobody thinks he can win the Bound for Glory series, he has 5 points and after he wins the tables match this Sunday and he will put the same man through the table that he beat for the five points…Jeff Hardy. E plays the video of that match and gives five reasons, but only gets to one and a half before Jeff Hardy comes out without the awful face paint. Robbie E brags about beating him for five points and Hardy beats T out of the ring and backs Robbie E in the corner. Robbie T wails on Hardy with big blows to the back and slams Hardy through the table with the Freak buster.

AJ Styles is asked about the pictures and said he’s been thinking about it and says that it’s sounds bad that he can’t remember having sex with her, says that he doesn’t drink, and that he’s jetlagged and needs to get focused for his match with Kurt Angle and tells the camera man to go away.

((Jarrett’s Jab – I’m sure that segment in the ring made the TNAStars founder Joe happy. Big Robbie E fan. I’m glad they’re making him look somewhat serious because he’s been the BFG Series whipping boy for about two months now.))

Samoa Joe storms into the commentary desk and says that it seems like everyone’s coming out to say what they’re going to in the BFG Series. He says that we’re about to see Kurt Angle and AJ Styles go at it, and he’s going to beat the both of them and also Christopher Daniels because he’s been dueling for the top spot since the series started and he’s going to get the 20 points this weekend.

Bound for Glory Series: AJ Styles (16 Points) vs. Kurt Angle (41 Points)

AJ Styles makes his entrance and Claire Lynch is shown sitting at ringside. Tenay notes that Kurt Angle is currently in third place in the BFG rankings. A tie-up starts off the match and AJ cinches in an arm bar and hits that picture perfect dropkick as Angle breaks out and bounces off the ropes. For some reason, we keep seeing close ups of Claire. If she looks this bad in SD, I feel bad for people who have HD.

-Commercial Break-

And we are back from commercial and AJ has Angle trapped in a headlock, but Angle quickly uses the turnbuckles to get out. The tweets at the bottom of the screen annoy the hell out of me while I’m trying to focus on the action. Angle gets a chin lock applied in the center of the ring and Taz and Tenay wonder why Claire is cheering AJ Styles. Now a graphic plays for while Angle hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on AJ.  Several long close-ups of Claire occur as I try to shield my eyes. When we finally see what’s going on in the ring. AJ is able to elbow out of the chin lock and now both men are down. AJ gets a second wind with several forearms and a backbreaker. AJ goes for a springboard but Angle moves and hits two German suplexes. The crowd chants “One More Time” and Angle obliges with the third German suplex. Angle stalks AJ and goes for the Angle Slam, but gets nailed with a Pele kick for a very close two count. AJ favors his lower back for a second before setting up the clash. Angle back body drops him and hits the Angle slam for a very close two count of his own. The straps go down and the Ankle lock is applied, but AJ kicks off and hits a German suplex. Angle reverses a second German into the Ankle lock. AJ uses his momentum to send Angle barreling into the second turnbuckle. AJ hits the springboard forearm and the Styles Clash for a very close two count. AJ goes to the top rope for the Spinal Tap, but gets a belly to belly suplex and gets a super close two count. Angle starts showing frustration as he crawls his way to the corner of the ring. Angle misses the moonsault and AJ goes to the apron and Angle gets the knees up for the 450 and hits another Angle Slam for the three count.

Winner by pinfall: Kurt Angle (Gains 7 points, currently has 48 points)

Claire touches AJ’s shoulder and tells him he did a good job in the match, but he walks up the ramp favoring his right elbow. Tenay says that another message from Aces and Eights. The guy says that Angle, Styles, Sting, Hogan, even baby Hogan got the Dead Man Hand and their next target is close and will be revealed tonight.

Mister Anderson confronts James Storm backstage and says that if he’s the next victim and he finds out he is leading Ace and Eights, they’re “going to have another discussion like this, but different.”

((Jarrett’s Jab -A very great match between two of the best wrestlers in pro wrestling. I wish we didn’t get so many close-ups of Claire though, I understand she’s in a storyline for AJ, but they were too many close-ups at unnecessary points in that match. Aces and Eights’ threat ten minutes into the old start time, which will be a nice hook for later in the show in addition to the contract signing.))

-Commercial Break-

Austin Aries is talking on a phone and says that Roode is always complaining, and he didn’t put that language in the contract and he’ll deal with it. A Double says that as far as the contract goes, he’ll deal with that man to man tonight.

Gail Kim vs. TNA Knockout Champion Miss Tessmacher

Gail Kim attacks Tessmacher during her entrance routine and suckers her into a flapjack into the ropes. Gail blows a kiss to the camera and Tessmacher fights back with several right hands before Kim hits a gordbuster for two. Gail throws herself into Tessmacher in the corner and stands on her stomach while Tessmacher is dangling on the second rope and breaks it up on the four count. Tessmacher throws herself into Gail Kim and hits several gut shots before Gail Kim shoves her down and applies a body scissors to Tessmacher until she hits enough blows to the legs that Kim breaks the hold. Gail hits another gord buster and poses before she picks up the Knockouts champion by her hair. Tessmacher runs throw Kim with two clotheslines and a dropkick before she nails a springboard elbow from the second rope. Tessmacher hits a — and gets caught with a boot before she connects with a face buster for the win.

Winner by Pinfall: Miss Tessmacher

After the Impact of the Night airs, Madison Rayne makes her way to the win as she smiles and waves at the ring.  The two face off in the center of the ring before Madison grabs Earl Hebner and kisses him before dropping him to the ground.
Joseph Park says that as he runs ‘Park Park and Park’, and talks about one of his court cases before he gives his legal advice and says that this can be intense before he runs down a guy he calls a “potential client.” Tenay says that the contract signing will take place…UP NEXT!

-Commercial Break-

A replay of the tag team match from last week leads into a Kenny King hype video where he says he wants people to think of him as just as good as a Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam or a Jeff Hardy.

Sting makes his way to the ring and Mike Tenay notes that he is the interim GM while Hulk Hogan recovers from the Aces and Eights attack. Sting says that he not only promised Aces and Eights air time, but ring time and tells them to come out from where ever they are. Sting calls out Bobby Roode and the TNA World Heavyweight Champion Austin Aries. Roode slowly comes down to the ring first decked out in a black suit and grey designer tie while A Double power walks into the ring with a grey v-neck and a black blazer on. Isn’t it funny that the challenger is dressed better than the champ and the GM? Sting asks what is up with the attitude. Roode says that Sting must be stupid not to know why he’s pissed. Roode says that what is in this contract is his problem. It says that if Roode loses doesn’t get another chance at the World Heavyweight Championship as long as Aries is the champion. Roode says that since Roode became the longest reigning TNA World Champion, Sting has had it in for him and trying to one-up him and the game is over. Roode says that he’s going to one-up Sting: If the language in the contract doesn’t change, there will be no main event at Hardcore Justice. Aries says that he’ll make a verbal contract that if Roode wins, Aries will waive his rematch clause, but if Aries wins, Roode won’t get a rematch. Sting asks Roode to shake on it and Sting shakes both Aries and Roode’s hand. Roode insists on Aries shaking his hand and they do. Aries holds his title up high.

-Commercial Break-

Chavo says that he’s here to face the best and win championship gold. Gunner and Kid Kash face Chavo Jr. and Hernandez at Hardcore Justice. X Division Championship will be on the line when the champion Zema Ion faces Kenny King. Miss Tessmacher defends the Knockouts Championship against Madison Rayne. Bobby Roode will challenge Austin Aries for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship and neither man will get a rematch no matter what happens. In a Falls Count Anywhere match with twenty points on the line, Mr. Anderson will face Rob Van Dam, The Pope D’Angleo Dinero and Magnus. Jeff Hardy, James Storm, Bully Ray, and Robbie E will fight in a Tables match with twenty points on the line. And AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Christopher Daniels, and Samoa Joe will fight in a Ladder Match with twenty points at stake.

In the Bound for Glory Series, James Storm is still in the lead with 66 points. Samoa Joe trails in second place with 53 points, Kurt Angle is in third with 48 points.

Bound for Glory Series: Bully Ray (21 Points) vs. James Storm (66 Points)

Ray yells that he’s not going to let them (Aces and Eights) jump him. Ray runs to the ropes to stop a charge by Storm. Ray works on Storm’s left arm with an Arm wringer, but is reversed by Storm who does the same thing to Ray’s left arm. Ray hits a clubby blow to the back and a big boot. Ray sends Storm to the outside and taunts the crowd as we head to commercial

-Commercial Break-

We are back from the break and Bully Ray misses an elbow drop and Ray hits a straight right hand and cinches in a leg lock with a grapevine and Tenay says he can’t lose with this move because he’ll weaken the leg even if he doesn’t submit. The referee counts several near falls on James Storm before Storm reverses the leg lock into an ankle lock and Ray quickly grabs the rope. Ray shoots the corona at the crowd before he misses big time with a splash. Storm starts fighting back with a face breaker and back body drop. Storm hits an enzeguri from the outside and Ray hits an urinagi for two. Storm fights out of the Bully Bomb and hits a cross body for two. James storm goes up top again, but Ray quickly shakes the ropes and Storm lands badly in the nether regions. Ray tries a suplerplex, but gets pushed off. Storm goes for an elbow drop and Ray hits the Bully Bomb for two. Ray goes up top and misses the backsplash and Storm hits the Codebreaker and Ray misses the Superkick. Ray hits the Bubba Cutter (RKO) for the three count.

Winner by Pinfall: Bully Ray (Gains 7 Points, Currently has 28 Points)

Ray circles the ring waiting for Aces and Eights. Ray yells “Where are they?” at James Storm. Aces and Eights say that they will see him Sunday at the Pay-Per-View.

((Jarrett’s Jab – A great main event and I’m happy that Bully Ray got the win. Storm’s lead at this point is ridiculous and the other participants need to catch up before the standings freeze on September 6th. I’m surprised that for two weeks in a row, there was no run-in from Aces and Eights. Hopefully there won’t be a Lynch sighting at Hardcore Justice, but after all, she’s rumored to be a former porn star…I don’t even feel the need to make that joke. That’s it for me. Be sure to come back to TNAStars for all the Hardcore Justice news you’ll need and be sure to check back next week for Impact Wrestling coverage.))