iMPACT Wrestling Results (7/12): Do This Old School


Impact Wrestling

Opening Segment

Just for the information of those who didn’t watch the Impact Rewind and wanted to know what it was, it was basically was last week’s edition of Impact Wrestling condensed to one hour. The last minute of the show hyped Impact Tonight. There were two thirty second spots, one featuring Mr. Anderson talking about his Bound for Glory Series match with Kurt Angle tonight, and the other featuring Sting arriving at the Impact Zone and reacting to the “Aces and Eights” (or Dead man’s Hand) that Hogan received last week. That’s the only thing that was on the show that wasn’t on Impact last week.

Impact kicks off with a video showing Austin Aries becoming the TNA World Heavyweight Champions at Destination X, and from that we go to the normal narrated open, basically a even more condensed version of what I just watched an hour ago

Inside the Impact Zone, Bully Ray makes his entrance for his match with Joseph Park.

Bully Ray vs. Joseph Park, Esq.

Park goes for a swing, but Ray backs up. Park tries it again and gets the same result. Ray is able to get a few cheap shots and slap in the face. Mike Tenay and Taz briefly talk about the DirectTV debacle and suggesting inviting over friends who have DirectTV and letting them watch Impact Wrestling. They also showed the number to complain to DirectTV as well. Back to the ring action, Bully Ray throws a trash can with all kinds of weapons inside the ring and Taz jokes when the chair gets stuck in the can. When Ray goes to use the chair, Park gets a double leg and several right hands before picking up the chair by the top and hesitating, getting Park a shot to the head. Bully Ray uses a metal sheet and delivers a hard shot to the back. Grabbing a trash can lid, that gets smashed over the Chicago lawyers skull as well.  Ray situates Park’s head over the lid and attempts a standing splash, but Park rolls out of the way and shakes the ropes Warrior Style. Park connects with several wild punches, but Ray gets a big boot and taunts the crowd. Park goes to the outside and grabs a black bag out from under the ring as a loud “You Suck” chant starts.  Ray spills the bag in the ring, revealing thousands of thumbtacks. Ray grabs a mic and tells Park that “I’m going to do to you, what I should have done to your brother a long time ago.” Ray asks the crowd if they know who he is before he gets a kendo stick and gets low-blowed with a cheese grater. Park connects with a swing of the kendo stick and covers for two. Bully Ray tries to get the advantage, but gets slammed into the tacks by Park. Park hesitates and hits the most ridiculous cover I’ve ever seen for two. Bully Ray grabs the chain as Park gets a garbage can. Ray connects with the chain to the skull for the win.

Winner by Pinall: Bully Ray

Park pulls himself to his feet in the corner in front of the tacks and the camera reveals he’s busted wide open. Park looks at the blood on his hands from wiping his forehead, and Park hits the Black Hole Slam. As soon as he hits it, he cowers to the corner and looks on shock.

Sting is shown with the cards and says that he gets it; it’s the Dead man’s Hand and rips the cards before walking off. ((Jarrett’s Jab – That was one hell of an opener and a great way to kick off a loaded edition of Impact Wrestling. Bound for Glory Series match between Kurt Angle and Ken Anderson will happen tonight, plus an appearance from the first inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame, “The Insane Icon” Sting will be a memorable show. Then again, anything has to be better than that garbage I watched on Monday Night.))

-Commercial Break-

A replay is shown of the Black Hole Slam that Joseph Park performed, and backstage Bully Ray is picking thumbtacks out of his boots. The Camera Man, Jason asked what he thought of the match. Bully Ray asked who was that, and stated “I beat Joseph Park, but who was that?” before walking off.

Bound for Glory Series: Samoa Joe (Currently has 37 Points) vs. Rob Van Dam (Currently has 7 Points)

I wish they’d show the points the competitors have during their entrance graphic, even though the leader board was shown,  I think that would make the series seem that much special.  Joe charges at RVD, but connects with the second turnbuckle, RVD goes for a surfboard, but Joe grabs the ropes before it’s fully applied. Tenay hypes that three of the four matches that Joe won in the BFG Series have been via submission. RVD connects with a kick to the head, but gets clotheslined and goes to the outside for a breather. Joe grabs the boot of RVD off a kick and knocks him to the side. RVD and Joe start trading round kicks and Joe rolls one of RVD’s kicks into a heel hook, but RVD gets to the ropes. Joe stands on RVD’s left knee, lands a sidewalk slam, and gets an arm bar but RVD again gets to the ropes. Joe connects with kicks to the head of RVD, but RVD gets one of his own and takes Joe off his feet with a dropkick to the left knee and a kick to the head. Rolling Thunder by RVD gets two and Joe uses the ropes to get up, RVD tries a monkey flip, but Joe gets the muscle buster followed by a Figure Four leg lock. Joe breaks the hold to get RVD in the center of the ring, but that time RVD reverses into a cradle for the win.

Winner by Pinfall and gaining 7 Points: Rob Van Dam (Now has 14 Points)

Clair is caught by the Jason in the parking lot of the Impact Zone, Jason asks when the last time she’s talked to Dixie, and Claire replies when they saw her talk to Dixie and tells him to get off her car. She’s asked when’s the last time she’s talked to Daniels or Kazarian and Claire replies she hasn’t. Claire tells Jason that she has answers, but there not coming tonight, and for him to leave her alone and she drives off. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Liked seeing Joe go for all those submissions, and that someone that isn’t named James Storm is getting a nice push from the Series. Wish this one was promoted on the Impact Rewind too. RVD barely squeaks out seven points, but Joe is still in the top of the leader board. On an off-note neither AJ Styles nor Bully Ray have any points. Robbie E doesn’t have any, but I saw that one coming. Has AJ had any BFG matches beside the battle royal?))

-Commercial Break-

Hulk Hogan told “Aces and Eights” that Sting is here and he’s here. Hogan finishes by saying he can’t wait to see the white of his eyes before storming off.

Highlights of the Last Man Standing match between AJ Styles and Daniels at Destination X played. ((Jarrett’s Jab – If you didn’t watch Destination X, I beg you to watch it.))

Kazarian congratulates AJ on the hard fought victory and says that while AJ thinks he ended this whole thing, he’s only heard one verse, and it’s only the beginning. Daniels says that he heard the crowd boo AJ Styles and his actions at Destination X, but AJ will do anything to keep the truth hidden and invites Claire Lynch out to answer some questions. She eventually makes her way to the ring and Daniels tells her to be careful and tells Kazarian to help her to the ring. Daniels reiterates that he has a few questions to clear things up with the fans. Daniels states that he’s not a Monster and knows that she hit rock bottom and was looking for any hand to grab her out of the hole she made. Daniels says that mistakes and accidents can happen and Claire starts yelling (which the mic does not pick up) and Daniels apologizes before AJ’s “Get Ready to Fly” music plays.  AJ tells Daniels that he’s surprised he’s able to walk or speak after the Styles Clash of the stage and that the story ended weeks ago. Daniels says the story has just begun and tells Claire to come clean. AJ and Daniels start bickering and Claire says that AJ is the father of the baby. That is the cue the crowd to start a hilarious “Jerry” chant as we head to break

-Commercial Break-

Jason asks AJ a bunch of questions, and AJ yells at him that he doesn’t know.

Ken Anderson talks about his rivalry with Kurt Angle and from that we see Jesse Sorensen making his return to the Impact Zone at Destination X with the new X Division Champion Zema Ion saying that “Jackasses don’t run with racehorses” and “if I look good now, imagine me with gold around my waist” still shots of Zema’s X Division Championship win.

Dakota Darsow backstage and calls Jesse Sorensen a friend before ripping Zema a new one. The new X Division Champion Zema Ion faces off against the second-generation Dakota Darsow…next!

-Commercial Break-

Dakota Darsow vs. TNA X Division Champion Zema Ion

Darsow hits a head butt and Ion backs to the corner, Darsow starts stomping and nailing Ion with shots galore. Irish whip into the corner leads to a clothesline and Ion tries to walk out, but Darsow catches him on the ramp and nails him with some clubby blows. Taz and Tenay again talk about DirectTV dropping all the Viacom channels and urge people to call Direct TV at 1-800-531-500 and demand that Spike and the other channels get reinstated. A spear by Darsow to Ion and a flurry of right hands and Ion goes to the back for a break. Ion hits a jawbreaker using the ropes and a DDT to get a quick advantage. Ion hits a version of the Widows Peak for the win.

Winner by Pinfall: Zema Ion

Ion puts Darsow into an Inverted Indian Death lock-styled move to the neck. Ion breaks the hold and grabs a microphone. He warns the “crippled jackass” that if he doesn’t want any more his friends hurt, he should realize he’s not only effin pretty, he’s pretty effin dangerous.

-Commercial Break-

Still shots with audio is shown of Austin Aries winning the World Heavyweight Championship at Destination X is shown.

Inside the Impact Wrestling Zone, the NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion Austin Aries makes his way to the ring. Aries thanks the fans for the reaction and says that he had a pretty ok week, and says “who the hell am I kidding, I had a great week!” Aries says that he woke up this morning and said it was a Great day to be great and a Great day to be the World Champion. Aries says he’s here to talk about winning the world title, and Aries says it was a great moment for him and for TNA, but even greater for the sport of professional wrestling. Aries thanks the fans and shushes them, claiming he can’t hear himself talk. Aries says that wrestling runs in periods, the ‘down period’ and ‘boom period,’ and Aries says that there has been a buzz around Impact Wrestling and that he will lead them through the next ‘boom period.’ Aries claimed that he got calls from Hollywood, NFL athletes, world champions from other companies congratulating him. Aries says that the belt is only as important as the man holding it, and the TNA World Heavyweight Championship is the most prestigious world champion in the world and Impact Wrestling is the best wrestling organization going. Before Aries can say anymore, the former World Champion, Bobby Roode’s music cuts him out and he makes his slow (almost zombie-like) entrance to the ring. Aries says this is his time and asks him what the hell is he doing interrupting his time. Roode finally gets into the ring. Roode grabs a microphone and tells Aries that “all of this” before snapping and acting like he’s having a nervous breakdown. Aries urges him to continue and all he’s able to get out is “right here” before he does the same thing and takes off his suit jacket. Aries and Roode have a funny “You” shouting match. Roode says “one word” and acts worse than before and Tenay says that he’s going to have a mental meltdown. Roode says “Fluke” and flips out and gets out of the ring. Aries has three words of his own “New World Champion” and Roode throws his jacket across the ramp and.

Sting tells Hogan in the back that he’s been at the gym and he’s one hundred and fifty percent and they need to go “old school” on ‘Aces and Eights.’ The Television Champion Devon and Garett Bischoff come in and Devon apologizes for interrupting, but says that he wants them to know that they saw what happened two weeks ago when they jumped Sting and last week when they threatened Hogan, and they have Hulk and Sting’s back. Hogan thanks them, but says they have to do this on their own. Devon makes sure that Hulk and Sting can trust them before he leaves with Garett. Sting reiterates its old school, but Hogan says there in deep this time. ((Jarrett’s Jab – If Devon and Garett saw the guys jump Sting, why didn’t they get out there and help him. Little things like that annoy me. The Roode and Aries segment was absolutely hilarious, definitely recommend you tubing that, best mental breakdown ever.))

-Commercial Break-

Angle puts Anderson and says that he has to get the win anyway he can and says he’s a great technician. Angle says the series is a serious competition and says that if he beats Ken Anderson, he could win the World Title.

A replay of last Thursday was shown when Madison Rayne kissed Earl Hebner and we cut to the ring for a few seconds, and back to a video where Madison Rayne talks about why he is crushing on Earl Hebner.

Brooke Hogan makes her entrance and is apparently is going to do commentary on this match. Hopefully she can commentate better than she can cut a promo.

TNA Women’s Knockout Championship: Miss Tessmacher (c) vs. Gail Kim

This is the return match from Slammiversary X. Tessmacher starts attacking Gail with rights and boots as soon as the bell rings and hits a short clothesline. Tessmacher hits a hurricanrana and grabs Gail by the head to try and bring her in the ring, but Gail drops down with Tessmacher’s arm. Gail stomps on the left arm and slaps her twice before Tessmacher gets a shot to the ribs. Gail gets the advantage with a shot to the abdomen and a kiss to the crowd followed by a suplex for two. Leg drop to the leg and a weird looking submission to that left leg. Gail locks in a submission hold, stretching the arms with a bridge and Brooke goes for a roll up for two. Tessmacher fights back with clotheslines and a bulldog. Tessmacher hits another clothesline and Gail hooks the ropes at two. Gail holds on to the ropes and is able to sucker Tessmacher into a charge and hooks her shorts for two. Tessmacher goes up top and Gail meets her up there. After a slug fest, Gail goes for Eat Defeat, but Tessmacher pushes her off and hits an elbow drop for the win.

Winner by pinfall and STILL TNA Women’s Knockout Champion: Miss Tessmacher

((Jarrett’s Jab – Kurt Angle made Ken Anderson not only important, but made him a serious threat with his promo. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Brooke did more to put over herself while she was “commentating” that title match, and I use that term very loosely. The only time that Hogan mentioned the competitors or any of the moves in the match was: when Brooke said that Gail was scared during her entrance when Brooke said that Gail wanted her rematch and is getting it now; when Hogan announced that Miss Tessmacher is hosting Spikes’ coverage of Comic Con tomorrow; and saying the Knockouts are tough. It was all about Brooke Hogan when she was talking. It’s a shame too; Gail Kim needed to look strong into))

Jason asked what proof Claire had that AJ is the father, and she points to her stomach and asks if that’s proof enough. Jason reiterates that he wants to know what proof she has that AJ is the father.

Magnus says that he can’t wait for Open Fight Night and last time, he spotted someone with a weakness and has a 2-0 record in the BFG Series. Magnus hypes a match with Storm this Saturday at a live event before we go to the leader board and shows Joe at the top with 37 points. Storm is 2nd with 36 points, Hardy is 3rd with 21 points, Kurt Angle has 20 and in 4th place, and then the rest of the leader board you can see on

Ken Anderson announces that his match has a twenty minute time limit during his entrance routine.

Bound for Glory Series: Ken Anderson (currently has 9 points) vs. Kurt Angle (currently has 20 points)

Angle hits a single leg to start of the match; Anderson backs Angle into the corner and breaks clean. Angle cinches in a side headlock, and Anderson gets to his feet and rebounds off the ropes to break. Anderson controls the left arm with an arm bar. Angle slides out and stomps Anderson in the corner, Angle whips Angle in the corner, and gets a few right hands before being Irish whipped in the corner himself. Anderson rebounds with a clothesline, but eats a overhead suplex when Angle gets up as we head to commercial break.

-Commercial Break-

We are back and Angle hits a clothesline for two and we go back to commercial!

-Commercial Break-

We are back again; I think…I hope longer for fifteen seconds this time. Anyways Angle has Anderson in a side headlock and Anderson hits a suplex to break the grip. Anderson runs through Angle with clotheslines and a kick to the mouth when Angle ducked his head. Anderson goes for the Mic Check, but Angle elbows his way out and Angle hits the three German suplexes. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Anderson reverses into the Anderson Roll for a very close two count. Anderson goes for the Mic Check again, but Angle counters into the Ankle lock. Anderson kicks his way out, but eats an Angle Slam for two. The straps go down and Angle cinches in the Ankle lock. Anderson screams out in pain and Taz says “I feel for the guy.”  Anderson almost gets to the ropes, but Angle sends him to the center of the ring. Anderson rolls out and hits the mic check for two. Anderson grabs the left knee before going for the Mic Check again, but eats another Angle Slam for the win.

Winner by Pinfall: Kurt Angle (gains 7 points, now has 28 points)

Angle is bleeding from the mouth before we see Anderson holding his knee on the outside.  A recap of the match is show and it seems Angle started bleeding as soon as the match is over. Tenay says that Anderson has a match in Memphis this Saturday against the Pope and asks what shape he’ll be in. The updated leader board is shown

In the back, Hogan tells Sting to not be afraid to toss him the bat. Bobby Roode storms in and tells Hogan “we need to talk.”

((Jarrett’s Jab – I’ve seen better matches between Anderson and Angle, but it’s definitely a good TV main event. I like that these Bound for Glory Series matches are so separated, and one is main eventing. It makes the series seem that much more important. I wonder if Anderson announcing his match had a 20 minute time limit was a flub, if TNA increased the time limit again, or if it got an increased time limit because it was the TV main event? Really wish they would have explained that.))

-Commercial Break-

Back from the break, Hogan tells Sting to give him five minutes and asks Roode if he wants his rematch. Roode tells him that he does, and Hogan tells him that he’ll get it at Hardcore Justice. Roode yells that he wants it sooner than that, and the whole world knows it was a fluke. Hogan says that since next week is Open Fight Night, to call him out and prove it. Hogan also notes that if Roode beats Aries, that he would be easy pickings for Hardcore Justice.

Sting makes his entrance and tells everyone that it is awesome to be in the Impact Zone, and says that ‘Aces and Eights’ like to play games. Since they said same time and place, Sting says that this seems like a pretty good time, and he’s sure it’s the right place. He also says that he hopes they don’t mind that he brought Hulkamania with him. He calls Hogan out and his music plays, but no one comes out. Sting paces in the ring and asks where is Hogan. His music plays again, but no one comes out. The crowd chants “We Want Hogan” and Sting stares at the tron surprised with Hulks entrance video still playing. Sting stops his pacing and Hogan’s music plays for the third time. Brooke Hogan is shown attending to her bloody dad as the gang leaves his office and you could hear a dog bark. Hulk says it’s only his leg, and Sting goes to the back to check on him, only to get jumped by ‘Aces and Eights’ himself as Impact closes.

((Jarrett’s Jab – When Roode was talking to Hogan in his office, I figured that Hogan would get jumped. I was kind of hoping that they would drag his body up the ramp while his music played though, I’m not a fan of these backstage beatdowns, but it played nicely into the sneak attack. Anyway this was a good episode of Impact. Either the commercial breaks went back fast, or I was really enjoy myself and I’m thinking the latter. Some great wrestling, and a great segment between the World Champion Austin Aries and the “It Factor” Bobby Roode.))

  • not impressed

    Wwe has tna big time. They are in different leagues.

    • Joe Vincent

      I don’t think anyone is disputing that these are two different types of shows. WWE is an entertainment program that focuses on putting out a standard product which generates tens of millions in revenue each year. As a shareholder in WWE stock, I love the fact that WWE has a very set, standard program that works.

      As a wrestling fan, I can’t watch the PG stuff. I’m too old for it and I’m not interested in revisiting the pre-Attitude Era WWE. Plus, WWE is a big-time entertainment show. TNA is a professional wrestling show. Two totally different approaches to television. With one approach, you celebrity guest hosts like the Three Stooges. With the other approach, you get the X-Division.

      So I agree – these two groups are in different leagues. One is in Hollywood and the other is in the wrestling ring. And that works for me.