TNA iMPACT Results (4/21): "Two Horses for Sister Karen"


Opening Segment
A recap of Lockdown plays, highlighting all of the major matches and the return of A.J. Styles.

AJ’s music blares as he’s lowered from the ceiling into a steel cage with weapons inside. AJ tells the crowd that he’s back and Bully Ray was dead wrong about putting him out. AJ says Ray should have seen his face; he looked like he saw a ghost. He came to lockdown to peel Ray’s head like a onion. He was disappointed that Ray wasn’t wheeled out to a hospital and that he should have left Ray just like he left AJ. AJ notes that the cage is up and that has weapons, and that Ray should man up for once in his life and face AJ…like a man.

A loud AJ Chant leads to Bully Ray’s entrance music and entrance. Tenay notes that Ray is the reason for AJ’s spinal cord injury. Ray asked if AJ knew who he was talking to. It’s the man that put AJ in the hospital for a month, the one that power bombed AJ off the stage and through a table. AJ yells that he’s still here. Ray calls AJ a boy and nobody. Ray said he wasn’t going to be gentle and not be as easy as he was last time. Ray talks about after he takes AJ out; he’s going to take care of his wife and kids, which sets AJ off. Ray charges for the cage but backs up. He tells AJ that he has nothing left to prove to him. Ray told AJ to go to hell and he’ll take him out on his own time. But as Ray backed p the ramp, Daniels attacks Ray and throws him in the cage. Daniels locks it as AJ throws Ray into all the walls and gets a Pele kick. Grabbing a trash can, AJ cracks it over Bully Ray’s head. Gunner attacks Daniels but the fallen angel gets the better of the fist fight as the cameras go back to AJ and Ray in the ring. AJ gets Ray stomach first on a table as AJ climbs the cage all the way to the top. As AJ gets positioned on the top of the cage, Ray slides off the table and runs out the cage door as fast as he could. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Really glad we didn’t get the Immortal open, giving AJ the first promo is very smart after his return at Lockdown))

Tenay and Taz runs down note able events from Lockdown and states that Ric Flair got injured at Lockdown by the hands of Robert Roode as they are cut off by Immortals Music and out comes Magnus and Rob Terry.

Rob Terry and Murphy come out and Terry says that if AJ Styles wants to play games, Immortal can play games as well, and Beer Money may have won their match at Lockdown, but they want payback for what they did to Ric Flair and they challenge Beer Money for the TNA World Tag Team Title and they want to take the title off of them right now. Beer Money comes out and Roode says that if they want a match for the title in a cage right now, let’s ask the fans what they want. The crowd cheers, so Storm tells them he’s sorry about their damn luck.

-Commercial Break-

TNA World Tag Team Title Match/Cage Match: Beer Money vs Rob Terry & Murphy

Immortal beat Roode down in the corner and then Terry hits a backbreaker for two, then Murphy comes in and they hit a double team for another two. Murphy connects with repeated forearms to the back of Storm, and then Terry tags in, rams Roode to the cage, and turns him inside out with a clothesline for a two count. Finally, Roode hits a clothesline and tags in Storm, who goes right after Rob Terry and hits a running clothesline in the corner and a Codebreaker on Murphy, followed by a DDT on Terry for  only two. Roode gets a Spinebuster on Terry, Storm with a superkick to Murphy, and then Beer Money connects with a double vertical suplex on Murphy. They do the Beer…Money chant and hit the DWI on Terry for the win.

Winners by pinfall: Beer Money

Jeff and Karen Jarrett are on a carriage ride, and they’re really happy about how they won that match together. Tonight, Jeff’s going to officially coronate Karen the Queen of the Mountain, and they’re going to make Prince William and Katte Middleton’s wedding look like a cheap Las Vegas affair. ((Jarrett’s Jab – If they can outdo the crap on Raw with Cole that alone would be stellar))

-Commercial Break-

Coming back from Commercial Break, Hulk Hogan comes out strumming on a lead pipe (really) to a chorus of boos from the Orlando crowd. Hogan tells us that the man who made professional wrestling is right in front of us, and he wants RVD to get out here, brother. Van Dam joins him and Hogan says everyone knows he’s a few fries short of a happy meal because he had the chance to join Immortal at Lockdown, and just like Ken Anderson, he’s going to pay for it, brother. RVD asks if he remembers before he was such a heel, everyone gave him mad love for being the guy who carried the ball, but now he changed because he cares about ratings and they just want him to get out of the business. Everything RVD does, he did for respect. Wrestlers today can’t make a living doing a legdrop and things have changed, but RVD sure as hell won’t. He throws his mic at Hogan and gives him a challenging stare, but Hogan asks if he’s ever set attendance records or slammed giants. He says RVD has always been a big fish in a small pond and his career has always been mediocre, and without Hogan’s help, all he’s ever going to be is a midcard player. ((Jarrett’s Jab – The longest running ECW TV Champ, the only to hold the WWE and ECW Championships at the same time, and most importantly a former TNA World Champion who never lost the belt is mediocre? Way to bury your belt AND the man you brought into the company…brother.))

Sting comes out, and asks if Hogan said RVD is a mediocre midcard wrestler. He says he heard that RVD is not a main eventer, but that’s got to be difficult for everyone in this building to digest because RVD’s challenging him for the title in the main event of Sacrifice. Hogan asks if Sting’s smoking the same stuff RVD is and says he wants some, but Sting says he came back because the Network put a clause in his contract that if he won the title, he could choose his opponents and he’s now choosing Rob Van Dam for Sacrifice. Hogan says the Network doesn’t have the guts to get in his face because he runs the show around here. Sting says the execs will be here and he’ll be able to say it to their face then, so Hogan says since Sting is here right now, he’ll say that this dream match at Sacrifice won’t happen because since the Network isn’t here tonight and he runs the show, Sting will be facing Matt Hardy, while RVD will take on Abyss. ((Jarrett’s Jab – From the wording, I assume it’s a World Title Match. I like that Hogan is getting the best of the network this week, shows that Immortal is still in control.))

We go backstage to Kurt Angle, who’s looking for Jeff and Karen. Some backstage fellow says he saw them in the parking lot in a horse drawn carriage, and Angle goes to find them.

Backstage, Tara and Madison Rayne are sniping at each other again, and Madison says Tara cost her the title at Lockdown and accuses her of being in cahoots with Mickie James. Madison says the only way she may be able to get back in her good graces is to win the Knockouts Tag Team Title tonight, and anything less will be unacceptable.

Kurt Angle finds Eric Young backstage feeding horses and Angle asks if he’s seen Jeff and Karen, but Eric talks about his buddies Mongo and Sid, the two best Horsemen of all time. Eric feeds the horses some beans, and Angle says if he keeps feeding them beans, they’re going to **** all over the place. Eric goes to get some buckets, and suddenly Angle has an idea.

-Commercial Break-

Knockouts Tag Team Title: Sarita & Rosita vs Madison Rayne & Tara

We go to commercial, and when we come back we see Rosita hit a flying headscissors on Tara. Madison starts screaming at Tara, who tags her in forcefully and Madison falls victim to a back suplex from Sarita. Sarita with a series of kicks in the corner, but Madison hangs her up in the ropes and dumps her, then hits a running boot and shrieks at Sarita as well before getting in Rosita’s face. She then goes back over to Tara and screams at her some more, so Hernandez and Anarchia distract the ref while Rosita and Sarita hit a double clothesline on Madison and Sarita pins her.

Winners by pinfall: Sarita & Rosita

Madison is stunned that Tara let her lose like that, but Tara casually starts to walk off. Madison grabs her and starts yelling at her again, but Tara starts walking off on her again as Madison follows her, shrieking all the way. ((Jarrett’s Jab –It’s ironic, I used to not like these titles because there never defended, now I don’t like these titles because they are a joke.))

-Commercial Break-

The Coronation Of Queen Of The Mountain, Karen Jarrett

Jeff says that Karen’s actions at Lockdown brought a tear to his eye, for a woman sacrificing herself for her prince was an act of true love. Tonight, he wants to share that true love with the whole world as he, the King of the Mountain, crowns his bride and princess, his entire universe, the Queen of the Mountain. Jeff would like everyone in the Impact Zone and at home to stand up, salute, and stand at attention as he announces, for the first time, the Queen of the Mountain…Karen…Jarrett. Jeff picks up the fancy crown he had sitting on a pedestal and places it on Karen’s head. Karen is super excited and starts waving at the fans until horse dung starts falling on her from above. She’s totally covered with it and says some naughty things that need to get bleeped out, and then Kurt Angle comes into the ring and stalks Jeff, who tries to back off but Angle grabs him and hits an Angle Slam into Queen Karen’s throne. He tells Karen that if she thinks she’s in a world of s*** right now, wait until he sees what he has planned for her next. He would never lay a hand on the mother of his children, but he knows someone who will. She’s all about pain and no pleasure, and she can’t wait to meet Karen. One last thing: Karen might want to get that s*** off her face before she leaves here tonight. ((Jarrett’s Jab – This was made apparent by the earlier promo with EY and Angle. Curious to who this mistress might be as well.))

Hogan is backstage with Abyss, and Hogan says that tonight, they’re going to finish this business. He walks about five feet to Ken Anderson and tells him he blew his chance to be in Immortal and wants to know who the power behind Immortal is. Anderson says he’s been getting screwed by the Network and Hogan for months now, and Hogan has to be ribbing him. Hogan says Anderson is the only person around here that he hates, and eight back surgeries ago; this would have ended right now. Anderson challenges him to fight now, but Hogan says he’ll do it on his time. Anderson says he’s bored with Hogan’s tired threats, so if Hogan will excuse him, he has to go be an asshole. Anderson walks off as Hogan walks back to Anderson all pissed off, and says now it’s time to take care of RVD. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Laughed at the ending, “excuse me, I have to go be an asshole.” Hogan’s statement had me thinking: in 2002, weren’t The Rock, Chris Jericho, Triple H, and Kurt Angle carrying Hogan in matches?))

-Commercial Break-

Abyss vs Rob Van Dam

RVD goes right after Abyss, peppering him with punches and smashing up Abyss’ teeth with a springboard jump kick. RVD stops for a couple of seconds as he realizes Abyss is hurt, and hits Rolling Thunder for two. Hogan grabs RVD’s boot from the floor and Abyss boots him in the face, and then unloads on RVD with hard rights in the corner. Abyss with a big charge in the corner and, with blood running out of his mouth, locks RVD in a neck vice. RVD escapes and knocks Abyss on his ass with a kick to the head, then hits Rolling Thunder again and follows up with a top rope thrust kick. Hogan swings the pipe at RVD from the floor and RVD goes after him, but referee Jackson James leaves the ring and gets between then as Hogan tosses the pipe to Abyss behind Jackson’s back. RVD comes back in and picks Abyss up, but Abyss nails him in the gut with the pipe and hits the Black Hole Slam for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Abyss

Abyss is clearly in a lot of pain from that kick to the mouth at the beginning, but he picks RVD back up and starts beating him down again. Hogan goes to nail RVD with the pipe, but Crimson runs out and spears Abyss, and Abyss and Hogan bail out of the ring. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Got to give Abyss props for wrestling without front teeth. Hopefully he can get those put back in ASAP, I would imagine it would be easier to do when you first get them knocked out.))

Sting is backstage saying he’s first in line to say he’s fighting to get Jeff Hardy back into TNA, but Hogan is all flustered over the stuff with the Network, and he makes fun of Hogan for making him do what he does for a living: wrestling. He’s not afraid of Matt Hardy, because IT’S SHOWTIME!

-Commercial Break-

Matt Hardy is backstage with Jeff’s crappy belt and he says that this belt meant the world to Jeff, but Sting ended all that for him, and tonight he will destroy Sting for everything he is. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Jeff Hardy, the Greatest of all time, really? That’s an insult to every wrestler who has laced up a pair of boots. You fire Jay Lethal, but keep Hardy on the payroll?))

Matt Morgan comes to the ring and says that at Lockdown, he finally put the exclamation point on the end of the Hernandez sentence, and with that behind him, it’s time to get back on track with his quest for the TNA World Title. Since everyone’s handing out title matches lately, he has some advice for the decision makers: Matt Morgan needs to be at the top of the list because the waiting game is over. He’s sick of waiting for his time to come, because his time is now, and if he doesn’t get it, he’s going to take it. Scott Steiner’s music hits and he comes out to the ring and says that whenever he wakes up, it’s in a good mood but it never fails and it pisses him off because Morgan claims to be the DNA of TNA, but if he had Morgan’s DNA and genetics, he’d shoot himself. No wait, he’d kill himself, then he’d hang himself because Morgan will never have arms as big as him and he’ll never be as ripped as Steiner, and the first thing that pissed Steiner off was that he came out here demanding a title shot. Steiner calls him a piece of s*** and says the line for World Title shots starts behind him because he’s been World Champion and he’s beaten guys bigger, badder, and stronger than him. He’s the genetic freak and Morgan is beneath him just like his girlfriend was last night. Morgan says Steiner’s got it wrong because he does respect him: Steiner was the pioneer All-American collegiate who went on to pro wrestling. He’s also the first guy to bring words like athlete, sports, and competition between those ropes. But he tells Steiner never to confuse Morgan’s respect as a sign of weakness because there isn’t a damn thing on his seven foot, 330 pound frame that’s weak. If Steiner and the fans want to see this, then Steiner can write the next chapter in his autobiography. Morgan extends his hand to Steiner, so Steiner takes it and kicks Morgan in the nuts, then hits his version of the Flatliner and locks Morgan in the Steiner Recliner while yelling at Morgan to tell him who the man is and who has the largest arms in the world.

-Commercial Break-

Miss Tessmacher is backstage saying it’s been a while since she’s been around TNA, but the thing that hasn’t changed is her desire for the title. She’s been training this whole time, and she wants the bitches to know that Miss Tessmacher is back!

Sting is backstage, and he’s…WALKING!

Velvet Sky is backstage saying she’s not sure what to do because she’s been best friends with Angelina for so long and she knows Angelina’s not under her own control…but Angelina went too far by coming after her last week. Winter comes in and says Velvet can start by quitting the whining and complaining, and she doesn’t like that Velvet’s accusing her of stuff. Velvet tells Winter she knows that she’s drugged Angelina, and the only reason she hasn’t gone to the authorities is because she wants to enjoy taking care of Winter herself. Angelina comes from behind and nails Velvet, beats her down, and rams her into the wall. Winter says they’ll finish cleaning this mess up next week and tells Angelina to follow her.

It’s main event time! But wait…Bully Ray and other members of Immortal try to go after Sting on his way to the ring, and Fortune comes out and starts brawling with them as Sting casually steps around and goes after Matt Hardy. Suddenly, Gunner comes from behind Sting with a pipe, nails him in the knee, and rolls him into the ring to officially start the match.

TNA World Title Match: Sting vs Matt Hardy

Hardy wore Jeff Hardy’s TNA Title to the ring and Tenay said that this match was retribution for Jeff. Matt goes after Sting’s leg, but Sting kicked him off and unloaded with chops. Hardy ducks a wild swing and hits a neckbreaker followed by the legdrop for two. Matt goes for a moonsault but Sting moves out of the way and then hobbles over to Hardy and puts him in the Scorpion Deathlock, but his knee gives out and Hardy powers out of the hold and clips Sting’s knee again and covers for twp. Hardy gets a half crab on Sting in the middle of the ring, but Sting kicks his way out of the hold.

-Commercial Break-

Sting is firing back on Hardy, but Hardy rams Sting into the corner and stretches the bad leg around the ropes, then kicks his leg out of his leg. Hardy with a seated crab, then turns around and decks Sting right in the face. Hardy sets up for the Twist of Hate, but Sting shoves him off. Hardy goes to the second rope, but Sting grabs the ankle and yanks Hardy off onto the mat, then starts running him over with clotheslines. Hardy dodges the Stinger Splash, but Sting elevates Hardy face first onto the top turnbuckle and hits the Scorpion Deathdrop for the win.

Winner by pinfall: Sting

Ken Anderson slides into the ring as Sting celebrates and hits the Mic Check, then pulls Hardy to his feet and gives him the Mic Check as well. He goes for his microphone and tells Sting that in case he didn’t know, he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. He just hit the Mic Check on Sting and soon it’s going to be 1-2-3.

We wrap up with TNA Reactions: Karen and Jeff Jarrett are backstage and Jeff is hurt as Karen screams about Kurt ruining her coronation and Jeff yells that Kurt doesn’t know when to quit. Hogan’s on the phone with Anderson saying he got his message loud and clear, and now he’ll get his. Anderson had a chance to become Immortal, but Lockdown was his final chance and he’s brought his demise on himself. Also, he is tired of the Network because he runs the company and Dixie is hiding out in Tennessee, and they have to show their face because if you’re in control, you have to show your face and they’ll soon realize how much they screwed up. Anderson says he just dropped the Mic Check on Sting and Matt Hardy because he doesn’t like too many people and if their heads were on fire, he wouldn’t piss on them to put them out. Sting asks who cares who the execs are and asks if we just saw what Anderson did because that’s what on his mind right now…that, and revenge. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I’ll probably get a lot of heat for this, but in the list of wrestling infamy, Jeff Hardy is #1 on my list. If he wants to clean himself up, fine. Until that point, and he’s 100% clean, I don’t want to see him on TNA, I don’t want to hear his name. TNA not firing them, or at least making it look like it makes them lose credibility. Victory Road was the end of his career; please just leave it at that. Sorry for the little rant. Wish there was more wrestling, but otherwise a great edition of iMPACT.))