Balrog Babblings #107 – A Better Plan for Regal’s Return

I’ve always been a big fan of William Regal – first as Lord Steven Regal in WCW where he had legendary brawls with Fit Finlay and then as William Regal in WWE. Regal has always put together the perfect mix of arrogance, fan disdain, and amazing wrestling skills to put on a great show. Here’s hoping that he finally overcomes some of those demons that seem to perpetually haunt him.

As fans, I’m of the opinion that we should always err on the side of the good when our favorites come up a little short so I’m going to assume that Regal will be back after the 60 day suspension. I’m also going to assume that the WWE Brain Trust (do they exist any more) will be more than willing to put him back into a semi-high profile storyline on the flagship program. Here’s what I would do if I had the opportunity to write that return storyline…

At the end of the suspension, I would have Regal appear at each RAW in a spectator’s capacity. But not just some dope in the stands – I’d have Regal watching from luxurious sky boxes each week. After three or so weeks the fans will start to want to hear from him to see what his deal is (assuming that Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler sell the, “What is he doing here?” angle). On the fourth week Todd Grisham ascends to Regal’s skybox to try to get an interview with the former General Manager, but Regal’s security closes the door on him before he can get in. However, before the door shuts completely the cameras catch a glance of a RAW superstar in Regal’s box!

Of course, you can imagine any RAW superstar that you want, but I was thinking that this person should be someone like Paul Burchill (with Katie Lea). Why Paul? First, there’s a history between these two on Smackdown. Second, he’s essentially an underutilized member of the roster. Alright, so some mild intrigue builds because even though Paul isn’t worth much on the roster he’s still a RAW superstar. The following week Grisham can catch Burchill in the backstage area and ask him what’s up only to have Burchill respond with something along the lines of that he’ll do what he wants and he doesn’t answer to anyone.

Later that night, Burchill should interrupt an Intercontinental Championship match costing the contender the title (preferably Jeff Hardy). At a separate point in the night, Grisham should try to get a word with Regal and this time Regal should allow him an answer to the question, “What are you doing here?” Regal’s answer: “I’m doing what I do best. Now listen sunshine, I’m just a spectator and I purchased this ticket and the privacy that comes with it, so get out!” Then as Grisham agrees to leave the cameras catch a tag team coming out of a separate room in the luxury suite.

Which tag team should fill this role? My vote is for London and Kendrick (imagine the great wordplay that Regal would get out of a guy with “London” as a last name). On the following week’s RAW, Burchill should put on an amazing match against Hardy (and if the writers don’t think that Burchill can do it, then they should put someone else in this slot from the beginning). The purpose of this match is to put Burchill over and have him beat Hardy. Later that night, London and Kendrick should interrupt a tag team championship defense – again – costing the contenders their shot. Who would the contenders be? I’m not entirely sure, but Cryme Tyme might fit the bill. In a rage in Vince McMahon’s office, Cryme Tyme demands a match against London and Kendrick for next week. At the same time, Burchill should barge in saying that he beat the #1 Contender for the Intercontinental title so he wants his shot at Jericho.

Vince McMahon should grant both requests, yell at the men to get out of his office, and then get on the phone talking to someone about how he’s too busy for this crap.

Also this week Grisham should head up to Regal’s box and ask him what he’s up to meeting with RAW wrestlers each week. Again, Regal should remind Grisham that he’s doing what he does best and that he does not want to be harrassed by WWE staff while he’s sitting in a private luxury booth that he purchased with his own money! To hammer home the point, a big name should open the door wider and tell Grisham to get lost. Who is that big name? Honestly, I don’t know. At this point WWE will have held their draft lottery so I suppose that this person could be anyone on the WWE roster. For my money, I’ve always been a fan of JBL so I’ll choose him for this spot.

Later that night JBL should interrupt someone big from winning the World Championship against Triple H – possibly Shawn Michaels. As RAW comes to a close, Vince McMahon should be getting off the phone with someone saying, “Alright, so next week we can announce you as the new General Manager on RAW. Great, see you then.”

When the following week’s RAW airs live, Teddy Long should be strongly featured throughout the first hour. Todd Grisham should go in for his weekly “get out of here” interview with William Regal only to find that he’s not in the luxury box this week (for comedic effect, put someone like Hacksaw in there yelling “Hoooooo!” the whole time).

When we’re back from commercial break, Vince should be in the middle of the ring to announce the new RAW General Manager. He should yap a bit about his interview process and how this person has been on his phone and on his radar since the position opened up. He should make some references to his success as a General Manager in the past and how he managed to work under extremely trying circumstances (a reference to Teddy Long being La Familia’s bitch). Then, he should announce William Regal as the new RAW General Manager. Regal should explain that he spent a good deal of money to get greater access to RAW over the last few weeks because he couldn’t help doing what he does best – booking matches for the #1 wrestling show on television.

Regal can point to his suggestions for JBL, London and Kendrick, and Paul Burchill to interrupt matches so they can get their shot at gold in their respective areas of the roster. Vince may want to chime in on how he made a mistake firing Regal, but he wants him to get to work immediately.

Regal is back as GM, McMahon is off TV again, and the writers can get back to their original storylines for Regal. Sure it might be a three or four month detour, but it could work!

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